Have no expectations. If you go into a given conversation with expectations about how it will end (getting a date or even her phone number, for example), you'll risk coming off as desperate or forcing the conversation. Relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the conversation for what it is, and the woman you're talking to will be more likely to respond positively.
Put up a nice picture of you - to chat with women you will have to grab their attention first! Look good, snap a pic and post it on your profile. If you have a nice picture available, then you will get more attention than having no picture at all! Women will be more trusting and will be more interested in you when looking at the handsome face of yours.
"I had two shift partners, one of whom ended up being my future wife. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, so while I thought she was cute, there was never any weird flirty tension. We shared one four-hour shift a week for about two years. Without really intending to, we became good friends because of the experiences we shared assisting clients and talking about our lives outside the hotline in between calls. Around the time she left the hotline, we both coincidentally went through breakups. We went from commiserating about our hotline work to commiserating about being single. Then one night she came over, we hooked up, and about a year and a half later we were married. I think what worked about meeting that way was that things developed really organically, because neither of us were there to meet people. We bonded over the work we were doing and the stuff we discovered we had in common over the years."
Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.
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For those truly passionate about a particular hobby (i.e. writing, archeology, model trains, or motorcycles), look for a community group that services other people with similar interests. Your geographic location will determine whether or not there are readily accessible groups already ready and waiting for your membership. For those in smaller communities where the resources may not be as comprehensive, try talking to the owners of local shops you frequent to buy hobby-related materials and ask if they know of others to speak with regarding starting a group, or if you can post notices looking for other interested participants. Another idea would be to contact national organizations overseeing smaller local chapters to see if they are planning any speaking engagements or are looking to start a chapter in your area. Other ideas along these lines include attending LGBT film festivals, single parent organizations or meetings, and health-related support groups.
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Now, while there’s success in numbers, don’t fool yourself. Women notice when a men gets rejected, even if he’s half away across the room. Most guys keep trying over and over, and by the end of the night their heads hung down low and they reek of desperation. Will they see success after the twentieth time? Sure, they might. However, most guys don’t have a large enough emotional bank account to handle that much rejection, especially in one single night.
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