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As for what to put in your profile, be sure you describe the exact type of girl you’re looking for (none of this “any girl will do” nonsense). Is this going to filter women out? Yes. But that’s the point. By actively filtering women you show that you’re a high-value guy with standards. This is going to make you more desirable for any woman who reads your profile. It’s also going to prevent you from wasting time with the wrong girls.

For those truly passionate about a particular hobby (i.e. writing, archeology, model trains, or motorcycles), look for a community group that services other people with similar interests. Your geographic location will determine whether or not there are readily accessible groups already ready and waiting for your membership. For those in smaller communities where the resources may not be as comprehensive, try talking to the owners of local shops you frequent to buy hobby-related materials and ask if they know of others to speak with regarding starting a group, or if you can post notices looking for other interested participants. Another idea would be to contact national organizations overseeing smaller local chapters to see if they are planning any speaking engagements or are looking to start a chapter in your area. Other ideas along these lines include attending LGBT film festivals, single parent organizations or meetings, and health-related support groups.

"I met my girlfriend Stephanie at a book signing for Karen Russell," he says. "The line was kind of disorderly, so I turned to the person behind me and said, 'I didn't cut you, did I?' and she said, 'No.' That was Stephanie. I said, 'So are you a big Karen Russell fan?' and she said, 'Yes.' I asked who some of her other favorite authors were, and we chatted briefly. She got her book signed, then I got mine signed. Afterward I turned around, and she was standing there waiting for me. It turned out we were both going to Grand Central, so we walked there together. We had very immediate, very obvious chemistry. We got to the corner where we needed to split up, and Stephanie said, 'I want to keep talking to you though.' Her train was leaving shortly before mine, so I went with her to her train, then jumped off just as the doors were closing and hurried to catch my train. I had given her my business card, and she emailed me the next day. We've been together for almost five years."

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