To make sure you’re that guy the only intention you want to have when speed dating is to have fun. Don’t worry about getting numbers or impressing anyone. Just see it as an excuse to meet cool people and do something different with your night. Make a point to chat with everyone – both girls and guys – before the event even starts. This way people will see you as the fun, confident guy who got everyone to loosen up and have a good time.
When I worked downtown, I made it a habit to eat at all the local hipster places for lunch. Sure, it wasn’t always cheap however, I noticed an upside to it (aside from the often great food). A lot of women were doing the exact same thing as I was. They’d sit down next to me and we’d strike up a conversation. Yes, women eat alone too! Although, these weren’t always just women that worked nearby. The truth is, a fair number were from out of town, and quite lonely while looking for companionship in the city.
We're willing to bet your kitchen skills are lacking, or at the very least could benefit from some professional advice. Why not take a cooking class? Not only will you upgrade your culinary skills and maybe add a few new dishes to your repertoire, but you're likely to find yourself one of the few men in attendance. Even better, for those shy about approaching women: you'll often be asked to pair up to complete a dish, giving you an easy way to start up a conversation over an omelet flambé.
To show women you’re the guy they’re looking for make your profile as fun and engaging as possible. How do you do that? For starters make sure you’re in the right state of mind when you sit down to create your profile. If you’re feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or anything like that, those negative emotions will influence the way you write. Women will get that negative “vibe” and will move on to the next guy. So if you’re feeling down go out and get some exercise, then take a pass at creating your profile when you’re feeling refreshed and energized. By putting yourself in a positive state of mind you’ll automatically create a more fun, engaging profile.
It’s no different than going to an industry convention. People go there to network. Sure, they learn a few new tricks and things but at the heart of it all is building up business connections. Even in the automotive industry, which generally lacks a female presence, I still know a guy who met his wife at one. When these events are hosted in Vegas, for instance, it’s a great way to mix business and pleasure without shooting yourself in the foot.
Have no expectations. If you go into a given conversation with expectations about how it will end (getting a date or even her phone number, for example), you'll risk coming off as desperate or forcing the conversation. Relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the conversation for what it is, and the woman you're talking to will be more likely to respond positively.
To get the most out of these nights out be sure to show up early to whatever venue you’re going to. This gives you a chance to get acclimated and comfortable in the environment. While you’re there, warm up your social muscles by chatting with the staff and anyone else who’s around. As the venue fills up look for a “high-traffic” area – someplace people walk past frequently – and post up there with your friends. That way instead of running around looking for girls to talk to, the girls will wind up walking right by you.
If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend sites like VolunteerMatch.org and GreatNonprofits.org. They’re kind of like dating sites — you put in your location and interests, among other identifiers, and the site will find the right organization for your needs. You can also read reviews from your peers to get an idea of the kind of work you’ll be doing and the people you’ll be interacting with.