Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →
For those truly passionate about a particular hobby (i.e. writing, archeology, model trains, or motorcycles), look for a community group that services other people with similar interests. Your geographic location will determine whether or not there are readily accessible groups already ready and waiting for your membership. For those in smaller communities where the resources may not be as comprehensive, try talking to the owners of local shops you frequent to buy hobby-related materials and ask if they know of others to speak with regarding starting a group, or if you can post notices looking for other interested participants. Another idea would be to contact national organizations overseeing smaller local chapters to see if they are planning any speaking engagements or are looking to start a chapter in your area. Other ideas along these lines include attending LGBT film festivals, single parent organizations or meetings, and health-related support groups.

Admit it: You’ve all come across at least ONE cute girl on the subway or at the bus stand, but you never had the courage or time to approach her. But notice – don’t be too eager to approach a woman; you will be viewed as nothing more than a creep. Look at the signs. Is she too engrossed reading a book, playing Candy Crush on her phone or has her eyes closed with her earphones in place? Then take a hint: she doesn’t want anybody to disturb her. On the other hand, if she’s looking here and there or has a bored expression on her face, your chances of making eye contact with her increase. Just be smart enough to take her number before she gets off at her stop, will you?

Even if you're not an all-star sports player, relationship expert Kayla Kalinski says playing on a neighborhood sports league can help expand your social circle and, in turn, open you up to the possibility of meeting that special someone. "One of the best ways we tell our clients to meet their future significant other is by joining community sports leagues," she says. "Worst case scenario, you just make a couple new friends -- but don't forget, friends know other friends who know other friends -- and your chances of being set up with someone special by your new buddies is greater than ever." If coffee shop hangouts are too cliché for you (or if you just don't drink coffee!), then a sports league might fit the bill – and, unlike at coffee shops, you'll be getting a workout in, too!


"I had two shift partners, one of whom ended up being my future wife. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, so while I thought she was cute, there was never any weird flirty tension. We shared one four-hour shift a week for about two years. Without really intending to, we became good friends because of the experiences we shared assisting clients and talking about our lives outside the hotline in between calls. Around the time she left the hotline, we both coincidentally went through breakups. We went from commiserating about our hotline work to commiserating about being single. Then one night she came over, we hooked up, and about a year and a half later we were married. I think what worked about meeting that way was that things developed really organically, because neither of us were there to meet people. We bonded over the work we were doing and the stuff we discovered we had in common over the years."
Nobody will vouch for you more than a friend. And if that friend happens to be female, her word will carry more value. Why? Because women trust other women more than a man whose mission is likely transparent. Apart from meeting online, research has shown meeting through friends is the most popular method of connecting with a potential partner. Being “set up” should occur in naturally social environments, like a barbecue or dinner party. Or perhaps you settle on a double date, where you can sit back and play coy while your friend sings your praises. In these instances the matchmaker will probably facilitate conversation throughout, expressing mutual interests and similar sentiments to assist you two in hitting it off. Remember: she’s your biggest cheerleader!
Just because you might not be in school anymore, that doesn’t mean you can’t take classes. We’re never too old to stop learning, and we’re never too old to stop meeting new people. Search online for some adult classes in your city and see what piques your interest. It could be painting (pictured below), cooking (pictured above), photography, guitar, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Most of these classes are probably pretty cheap, too, because they’re put on by colleges or local organizations. Plus, Groupon always has deals going on.
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