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Now, while there’s success in numbers, don’t fool yourself. Women notice when a men gets rejected, even if he’s half away across the room. Most guys keep trying over and over, and by the end of the night their heads hung down low and they reek of desperation. Will they see success after the twentieth time? Sure, they might. However, most guys don’t have a large enough emotional bank account to handle that much rejection, especially in one single night.
You need to be careful here because there can be many instances where it’s rude to approach a woman in such a public space. Many frequent coffee shops to get work done, so if she’s feverishly typing away on her laptop, you should definitely let her do her thing. But if you lock eyes with a female patron and get the sense that she’s into you, say something. Coffee shops are often frequented by intelligent and bookish individuals, so if that’s your type, order yourself a cappuccino and casually survey the atmosphere. It’s like Tinder, but in real life - what a concept! Since many who frequent coffee shops tend to be regulars, a slow game is an option. After enough time has passed, you can make a comment along the lines of “fancy seeing you here,” and - boom! Ice broken.
Separate from the obvious, there are several social events you can attend to increase your chances of meeting someone new. Try planning a weekly movie night through your friends and see who shows up every week, making it clear that new people are welcome to join at any time. Accept every party, wedding or social networking invitation you are given and attend. Another idea along this same vein would be to host your own party, where each invitee brings a potluck dish and a single friend (of the opposite sex for heterosexuals or same sex for gays and lesbians). This way there will be an evenly-matched number of singles, all interested and ready to meet someone new.
Sarah Burke Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik
What Real Men Say: "Salsa dancing is part of my culture," says Javier, 26. "So when my sister's friend opened a dance studio in our neighborhood I came for the grand opening and complimentary salsa class -- and had so much fun that I ended up buying a class package. As one of the only men in the class, I had my pick of partners which was nice, and made a lot of friends during my time there. Around my fifth or sixth class we all planned on meeting up at a salsa club after class to try out what we had learned, and I saw my current girlfriend Ramona there with her group of friends -- one of which knew one of the class members I was out with. She introduced us, and we danced together until 2 a.m. when the club closed down. We've been together ever since."
Even if you're not an all-star sports player, relationship expert Kayla Kalinski says playing on a neighborhood sports league can help expand your social circle and, in turn, open you up to the possibility of meeting that special someone. "One of the best ways we tell our clients to meet their future significant other is by joining community sports leagues," she says. "Worst case scenario, you just make a couple new friends -- but don't forget, friends know other friends who know other friends -- and your chances of being set up with someone special by your new buddies is greater than ever." If coffee shop hangouts are too cliché for you (or if you just don't drink coffee!), then a sports league might fit the bill – and, unlike at coffee shops, you'll be getting a workout in, too!
Get a part time job. Work at a restaurant if you need to expand your social circle and improve your communication skills at the same time. If you’ve ever worked a restaurant before, you’ll know why it’s one of the easiest places in the world to meet women. Most of the girls are looking for things to do after they clock out. Though, the job itself will almost always be grueling and suck.
Coffee shops are one of my personal favorites when it comes to places to meet singles. It may seem obvious to some or completely alien to others - yet it works. Find a busy coffee shop that you feel comfortable in, and take up a space near the main door. Avoid bringing anything to distract yourself with if you can manage it, although this may be more difficult for some than for others. The point is this: try not to involve yourself into something so completely that you send off 'I'm busy' vibes. You want to seem approachable, and hiding behind a laptop or book doesn't help!
Whether you are taking a couple of courses to upgrade, are a full-time university student or are passionate about tole painting, every community both large and small have courses you can take that will not only net you more knowledge but a whole new set of people to meet and interact with. If money is an issue, think about taking a class without getting credit or look into how old you have to be to receive free classes, since many universities now offer tuition-free options for seniors. And while you want to take classes that you have a personal or professional interest in, it never hurts to take something you normally wouldn't - if only because you have a hunch the type of person you are looking to meet would take that kind of class
Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.