Trying to meet a woman you want to date out of a crowded bar has a lot of variables and circumstances that is out of your control. There is the process of having to scope out the surrounding environment for someone you’re interested in, dealing with her group of friends, feeling out whether or not she’s single, approaching her with an opening line to hook her attention, and the added social pressure of trying to sustain a conversation in a loud environment. Not exactly the most ideal setting for getting to know someone, nurturing a deeper connection, and getting yourself a girlfriend in the long run.
But it's not just the friend famine that's starving our sex lives. Socially inbred crews are detrimental, too. "In a tightly knit group, you know the same people," says Parks. "Your friends can't introduce you to women you don't already know." That's why access to a new resource, whether it's an unadvertised job opening, a lead on a house listing, or an introduction to a woman you might click with, is more likely to come through casual friends than close ones. It's what social-network theorists call "the strength of weak ties," and the greater the number of unique casual connections you have, the better positioned you are to benefit. These types of people are essentially network bridges, says Parks. They connect you to women you might not otherwise have met through your close friends. The secret isn't blind dates and setups; it's party invites and casual introductions.
What Real Men Say: "Salsa dancing is part of my culture," says Javier, 26. "So when my sister's friend opened a dance studio in our neighborhood I came for the grand opening and complimentary salsa class -- and had so much fun that I ended up buying a class package. As one of the only men in the class, I had my pick of partners which was nice, and made a lot of friends during my time there. Around my fifth or sixth class we all planned on meeting up at a salsa club after class to try out what we had learned, and I saw my current girlfriend Ramona there with her group of friends -- one of which knew one of the class members I was out with. She introduced us, and we danced together until 2 a.m. when the club closed down. We've been together ever since."
Not exactly the best setting for getting to know someone, let alone landing yourself a serious, long-term relationship. Aren't there better places to meet a woman nowadays? Where else can you hope to meet your next potential partner? Are there better ways to meet girls? We asked a few real men who bypassed the bar scene to tell us how they met their current girlfriends -- and they had a few creative suggestions to share.
“It’s so hard being single again, I’ve been in a relationship for the last 4 years and it feels like starting from square one all over again. I’ve slowly gotten over my breakup, I’ve been dressing better, have gotten back into shape, yet at this point, I have no idea what to do or where I should even try meeting women since I hate going to bars & clubs.”
Apart from giving you a lot of fresh air, exercise, a change of location and lots of vitamin D, parks can prove to be extremely useful places if you wanna know where to meet single women. Of course, you can’t just sit at a bench and stare at women that pass by, so how about bringing a book, your dog, or simply your iPod with you. Even if you don’t get to meet someone, you’ll be doing something different in your rut of a life.
Yes-older woman run to stay in shape just like you do, especially older women seeking younger men. After you have established your jogging routine look for familiar faces as you run. Jog alongside and make casual conservation-about anything! The scenery, the length of the run..anything to get her talking to you. Try to be in the same area at the same time each day. You want to make it look like this is something you do every day (you should anyway) so she doesn't think you are stalking her!
This one may take you out of your comfort zone but if you want to get the most out of your social and dating life, getting out of your comfort zone is essential. Besides another fun way to get yourself into really good shape, learning how to dance has its social benefits. Besides impressing your friends, family, & the ladies next time you’re out, it’s a really fun way to meet women & for the guys who are uncomfortable with touching (in the context of flirting & seduction) it really helps.
Meeting a potential relationship partner does not have to be confusing or challenging, especially when you have a particular goal in mind. You will often have the best success when you look in the places and ways that will bring you in touch with likeminded people. Specifically, long-term relationships are often found with others who are focused on similar long-term religious, spiritual, or educational activities in their daily lives. In contrast, short-term and sexual relationships can best be found with others who have such immediate excitement and pleasure on their mind—usually in the nightlife of bars, clubs, and restaurants. Finally, finding some specific relationship preference and need can often be accomplished by networking with others who are compatible in those ways—either online or through social groups. In any case, finding others with similar love life preferences and goals will bring you closer to satisfying yours.
If you spot a girl you’re interested in & it’s peak hours at the coffee shop, just ask her if you can sit by her table since it’s packed or just sit down at the table next to her if there is an open spot & after getting settled in just ask her if she knows what the Wi-Fi password is, if she’s got an iPhone charger, or ask her what she recommends if it’s not a Starbucks or a chain. Just be mindful, if she doesn’t look stressed, completely consumed with whatever she’s doing, or is on the phone get creative & immediately segue & ask her what she’s doing (blogging, reading, studying, thinking, etc.)
Get to know them, learn their names, and remember them! Make it a point to recall what drinks they like to order or foods they like to eat, and of course, flirt a little! Just don't go overboard. A little mystery is fascinating to any mature woman, but especially so for an older one. Flattery is one of your best friends-and believe me-older women will remember it long after they leave. They (or she) will undoubtedly know what you are doing and will love it!
Have no expectations. If you go into a given conversation with expectations about how it will end (getting a date or even her phone number, for example), you'll risk coming off as desperate or forcing the conversation. Relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the conversation for what it is, and the woman you're talking to will be more likely to respond positively.
Just like with their younger counterparts, more mature women are also looking at bars as a place to meet single guys. Where you go really depends on what you are looking for! Do you want a relationship that is going to actually go somewhere, or are you just testing the waters to see if dating an older woman is really what you want to do? Are you looking for a quick hook-up and a one night stand? Is a night of pleasurable sex what you have in mind?
Granted, this is not an option for everybody looking for places where to meet single women. But if art is your passion, then this one is the jackpot for you. Keep an eye out for new art gallery openings or showcases. As for museums, a little research is all you need to get an entry to a session kept aside for patrons where you are served free snacks and wine.
You are on the hunt and don't let anything get in the way! If you are still struggling with approaching women in public (and you are definitely not alone) there are a few books that made a huge difference in our success with older women. You could take a blanket along and lounge around while Fido does his thing, or you can actively seek the attention of an older woman by asking her a question or two about her own pet.
Listen to your gut instinct. A single rejection doesn't mean there is something wrong with you as a person (she may like you but not know how to express it!). However, if you experience repeated rejections, you may want to address your grooming, your mannerisms with women, or even your whole approach. It could be that you're doing something wrong and that's always easy to fix.