“It’s so hard being single again, I’ve been in a relationship for the last 4 years and it feels like starting from square one all over again. I’ve slowly gotten over my breakup, I’ve been dressing better, have gotten back into shape, yet at this point, I have no idea what to do or where I should even try meeting women since I hate going to bars & clubs.”
Exit the conversation early. This one might surprise you, but assuming you're having a first conversation with a woman you don't know (whether a stranger or a friend of a friend), cut it short. By doing this, you're ensuring you're not misreading the situation and wasting her time, in the event that she isn't interested, but you're also demonstrating that you respect boundaries and aren't a threat to her. And if she was enjoying the conversation, you'll leave her wanting more.
Just because you might not be in school anymore, that doesn’t mean you can’t take classes. We’re never too old to stop learning, and we’re never too old to stop meeting new people. Search online for some adult classes in your city and see what piques your interest. It could be painting (pictured below), cooking (pictured above), photography, guitar, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Most of these classes are probably pretty cheap, too, because they’re put on by colleges or local organizations. Plus, Groupon always has deals going on.
A little unconventional but I can attest that speed dating is a fun alternative to meeting people & meeting women at a very high volume in the shortest amount of time. The best part is if it doesn’t work out or you just don’t click with whoever you’re matched with you’re immediately matched with another person. Speed dating events usually provide questionnaires & surveys for you to fill out to match you with people who have similar interests & traits. If you don’t like structure & love spontaneity I’d recommend just trying it out & socializing with as many women as possible even if they’re not in your cohort. I can tell you from experience most of the dates I’ve gotten we’re girls I talked to before the event in the lounge area & the funniest part is I was never matched with them during the actual event. If you live in the NY metro area check out the following links:
A little unconventional but I can attest that speed dating is a fun alternative to meeting people & meeting women at a very high volume in the shortest amount of time. The best part is if it doesn’t work out or you just don’t click with whoever you’re matched with you’re immediately matched with another person. Speed dating events usually provide questionnaires & surveys for you to fill out to match you with people who have similar interests & traits. If you don’t like structure & love spontaneity I’d recommend just trying it out & socializing with as many women as possible even if they’re not in your cohort. I can tell you from experience most of the dates I’ve gotten we’re girls I talked to before the event in the lounge area & the funniest part is I was never matched with them during the actual event. If you live in the NY metro area check out the following links:

If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend sites like VolunteerMatch.org and GreatNonprofits.org. They’re kind of like dating sites — you put in your location and interests, among other identifiers, and the site will find the right organization for your needs. You can also read reviews from your peers to get an idea of the kind of work you’ll be doing and the people you’ll be interacting with.
Your time to do that is shrinking, according to a 2008 Harris Interactive poll. Americans have just 16 hours a week—down 20 percent from 2007—that are all theirs. With leisure time scarce, many men make the mistake of blocking off a weekend night for dating, says Paul Dobransky, M.D., a Chicago psychiatrist who teaches men how to land any woman they want (check out a day in his life by clicking here). "Their lack of success is due to their hyperfocused approach," says Dr. Dobransky. "They see meeting women as something that is done rather than something that naturally happens, which is the way women view it."
It's a surprisingly detrimental decision. A 2008 study in Social Indicators Research reveals that unhappy people watch 30 percent more TV every day than very happy people. "It's possible that TV causes people to be unhappy because it pushes aside time for activities with long-term benefits," says study author John Robinson, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland and director of the Americans' Use of Time Project. "Or TV viewing is an outlet for people who are already unhappy."
Do you have a dog? If not, get one, or borrow one from a friend. Offer to take the critter for a walk around town or in the park! Mature women love to see a young guy walking his pet and she might strike up a conversation with you-especially if she has a dog of her own. If it happens to be a younger woman who tries to come on to you, be polite but move on.
For those who love exercising, make health a top priority, and are attracted to people who feel the same, intramural sports can kill two birds with one stone. You get to stay active, and you get to meet compatible women. Once someone catches your eye, you could even mention getting food or drinks after a game or two. If you’re nervous about being one on one with her, make it a group thing to remove some of the pressure.
Admit it: You’ve all come across at least ONE cute girl on the subway or at the bus stand, but you never had the courage or time to approach her. But notice – don’t be too eager to approach a woman; you will be viewed as nothing more than a creep. Look at the signs. Is she too engrossed reading a book, playing Candy Crush on her phone or has her eyes closed with her earphones in place? Then take a hint: she doesn’t want anybody to disturb her. On the other hand, if she’s looking here and there or has a bored expression on her face, your chances of making eye contact with her increase. Just be smart enough to take her number before she gets off at her stop, will you?
Trying to meet a woman you want to date out of a crowded bar has a lot of variables and circumstances that is out of your control. There is the process of having to scope out the surrounding environment for someone you’re interested in, dealing with her group of friends, feeling out whether or not she’s single, approaching her with an opening line to hook her attention, and the added social pressure of trying to sustain a conversation in a loud environment. Not exactly the most ideal setting for getting to know someone, nurturing a deeper connection, and getting yourself a girlfriend in the long run.
As for what to put in your profile, be sure you describe the exact type of girl you’re looking for (none of this “any girl will do” nonsense).  Is this going to filter women out?  Yes.  But that’s the point.  By actively filtering women you show that you’re a high-value guy with standards.  This is going to make you more desirable for any woman who reads your profile.  It’s also going to prevent you from wasting time with the wrong girls.

Sometimes you'll be rejected because it's not the right time in her life to be committing to a relationship. Perhaps she's going through a messy divorce, perhaps a big career move is on her radar or perhaps she just needs time to heal after a bad relationship. If she is really worth it, give her wide berth while remaining friendly and just be patient. Otherwise, wish her the best of luck and keep looking.
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