If you stick to a 6-mile orbit, your romantic trajectory is stunted as well. "In the stock market, diversification is critical to reducing risk," says Amir Aczel, Ph.D., a former professor of mathematics and statistics at Bentley University near Boston and author of Chance. "In dating, the same rule applies. You should vary the places you go, and when you go there. This diversification will result in increased probability of meeting women who respond well to you."
For long-term relationships, you may want to look to meet someone during your daily life—particularly through a religious, spiritual, or educational activity. This may help to increase the satisfaction and longevity of the relationship. Presumably, the similarities also help partners to make a deeper connection and share gratefully with each other. Religious and spiritual compatibility may also reduce the likelihood of cheating and infidelity. Such relationships may require self-introductions though. As a result, you may have to overcome anxiety, learn to break the ice, and ask for what you want (even indirectly) to begin an interaction.
Not exactly the best setting for getting to know someone, let alone landing yourself a serious, long-term relationship. Aren't there better places to meet a woman nowadays? Where else can you hope to meet your next potential partner? Are there better ways to meet girls? We asked a few real men who bypassed the bar scene to tell us how they met their current girlfriends -- and they had a few creative suggestions to share.
Granted, this one's going to take you out of your comfort zone, but how else do you expect to meet new people? At least at a dance class, as matchmaker Susan Trombetti points out, the odds would be in your favor. "Yoga, dance class, or a spinning class is a great place to meet women if you can get into it," she says. "I know lots of men who try this with much success. You will definitely be in the minority." Even if you don't meet a girl, you'll be improving your personality, which is a big help for single men everywhere when it comes to attracting beautiful women. And even if you don't happen to meet your special someone at dance class itself, acquiring the skill will be guaranteed to help you in the future..
Between the heartwarming speeches, the dancing and the alcohol, love is everywhere you look at a wedding. Whether marriage is your cup of tea or not, weddings facilitate love and, when paired with the alcohol, naturally influence romantic feelings. If it’s a friend’s wedding, there should be plenty of similar-aged women who will have a date with them or not. If not, they are probably single. There is also a good probability that you and a potential love interest will have a friend or two in common, which gives you an introduction and something to talk about. Considering most of the older guests leave before the midnight buffet, a wedding essentially becomes a night club after 11PM, except better because the booze is (usually) free and everyone is dressed to the nines.
Look, man, most guys are doing this dating thing all wrong. Someone once told me, if you wanted to sell a book, the hardest place to sell it is a bookstore. Why? Because you are competing with all the other books. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s definitely true when it comes to dating. If you go to bars, clubs or searching online then you are competing with every other guy there.
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The beauty of forging weak ties is that while others hunt, you gather. To be successful, you need to continually meet new people outside your existing circles in order to find quantity and diversity in new links. All connections have potential. For example, you may have written off the guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend, but he's the money ball. According to a 2003 study in Social Networks, dating couples share 20 percent to 25 percent of their friends, but that percentage increases to 50 when they start living together. The result: His network is likely to be populated with more women after he moves in with her.
Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click. "When people are working toward a shared outcome, they're more likely to grow closer together," says Parks. Recreational outfits make it easy to form new connections because individuals can sign up and be assigned to a team without needing to know anyone.
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."
As a general rule, women are more approachable and less suspicious when they meet guys through the course of a regular day and in an atmosphere when they feel at ease, as opposed to when a guy introduces himself in a more typical setting (bars or clubs, for example). For a lot of women, anything with a meat-market vibe is not ideal for meetin men, and if you go through this list motivated only by a slavering desire for sex, women will detect that insincerity, and you'll fool exactly nobody. Don't look at these as pickup strategies; just think of them as generally positive habits that happen to have an added benefit.