We've all had this one happen to us in some capacity – whether it's a coworker's housewarming party or your neighbor down the hall insisting you swing by for a get together they're having, going to a party where you only know the host can feel pretty awkward. But even if you do go and don't meet any single women that night, you can make new friends and connections. There's always a chance you may meet someone there who can set you up with your future girlfriend or long-term relationship – as was the case for Alex, 29.
A little unconventional but I can attest that speed dating is a fun alternative to meeting people & meeting women at a very high volume in the shortest amount of time. The best part is if it doesn’t work out or you just don’t click with whoever you’re matched with you’re immediately matched with another person. Speed dating events usually provide questionnaires & surveys for you to fill out to match you with people who have similar interests & traits. If you don’t like structure & love spontaneity I’d recommend just trying it out & socializing with as many women as possible even if they’re not in your cohort. I can tell you from experience most of the dates I’ve gotten we’re girls I talked to before the event in the lounge area & the funniest part is I was never matched with them during the actual event. If you live in the NY metro area check out the following links:
Take for instance my trip to London, I met a woman from my hometown on my first flight out while waiting in the lounge. On the connecting flight I met two British girls who sat across from my aisle; both lived in London near my hotel. On my last flight back home, I met another woman from my hometown who was returning from a vacation in another state.
Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.
Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.
The real world of dating is rough on men. The risk and onus of rejection are almost always on them, because men initiate about 80 percent of encounters. And the competition is brutal for men in their 20s and 30s: For every 100 unmarried women there's an average of 113 unmarried men, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. And those men just aren't doing the job. The Pew Research Center found that about half of young singles reported going on no more than one date in the 3 months prior to its survey, and 55 percent of singles who were looking for love said it was hard to meet people.
Another place to meet single women who have similar interests as you is through local classes. Anything from a dance class to a cooking, art, or improv class can be a fantastic place to meet single women. Why? Because meeting girls in this environment gives you a shared experience to bond over. Plus, you’re in a space where everyone is messing up, and that vulnerability will have everyone feeling close and connected very quickly. This feeling of connection and bonding is going to go a long way in getting that cute, single girl interested in getting together after class.
If you want to talk to a woman but she’s in the middle of hanging out with a girlfriend/reading a book/working on her laptop, instead of not saying hello at all I want you to let her know that you realize she’s busy. It’s better to show her that you’re considerate of what else is going on for her rather than waiting for a perfect moment (that never comes) to say hi to her. You don’t need to be overly apologetic you can simply say, ‘Hey (pause) I know you’re in the middle of…. But I wanted to say…’
A few years ago I took an improv class to be able to think on the fly, prepare for job interviews, & get out of my head when I’m interacting with people. Besides the added skill-sets to my social tool box, I’ve managed to meet some really amazing people in these classes and my last girlfriend before she moved. My friend & I were the only two guys in this class of 10 with the other 8 all being women. Just like the last 4 suggestions I’ve made, these classes are specifically designed to breed social interaction.
If you stick to a 6-mile orbit, your romantic trajectory is stunted as well. "In the stock market, diversification is critical to reducing risk," says Amir Aczel, Ph.D., a former professor of mathematics and statistics at Bentley University near Boston and author of Chance. "In dating, the same rule applies. You should vary the places you go, and when you go there. This diversification will result in increased probability of meeting women who respond well to you."
Animal adoption centers. Meet man’s best friend and potentially your next girlfriend. Let’s face it, shelter pups need the same kind of love and companionship you’re looking for. However, that doesn’t mean you must adopt a dog on the spot at a local shelter or animal rescue center. You can always go with the intent of simply interacting with pets who desperately need a human friend for a day. Most, if not all of these places will gladly welcome you with open arms.
Sometimes you'll be rejected because it's not the right time in her life to be committing to a relationship. Perhaps she's going through a messy divorce, perhaps a big career move is on her radar or perhaps she just needs time to heal after a bad relationship. If she is really worth it, give her wide berth while remaining friendly and just be patient. Otherwise, wish her the best of luck and keep looking.