Listen, Most guys do the shotgun approach to dating and as a result, they are going for women that they aren’t even compatible with. Hear me out, if you ask any successful business how they find customers they do it a very specific way so they can target the demographic that is most likely to be compatible and want to buy their product. You need to view dating the exact same way. And if you do this you’ll start meeting and dating the women that you actually want. Then you’ll be ready to approach a girl and spark that attraction.
Let your friends know that you’re open to meeting people—if you don’t, many will assume you’re happily single—but don’t ask them to set you up on completely blind dates. “Ask for a phone number or an email address so you can make the plans and feel her out a bit,” Van Kirk says. “You want to be sure that going on a blind date is worth both of your time.”
The number one reason why approaching a woman may not work is that you don’t have her full attention before speaking to her. By attention I mean you should have her eye contact. This means she won’t be either a. surprised when you speak to her or b. not listening. If she sees you before you begin speaking to her she’ll be more relaxed and you can also checkout her non-verbal signals (is she holding eye contact with you and smiling?) to see if she seems open to talking to you. Sometimes you may need to use a gesture or say ‘hey’ to get her to look up. Then I want you to pause and wait for her to fully realize ‘a man is talking to me’ before you continue speaking with her.
When you approach in a confident, easy-going way, most women drop their guard and open up to the conversation. However, if you approach in a nervous or appear intimidated by the women, they will automatically close off to you and the conversation. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. This is why confidence is the #1 thing you need to have before you begin trying to meet new women.
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