We've all had this one happen to us in some capacity – whether it's a coworker's housewarming party or your neighbor down the hall insisting you swing by for a get together they're having, going to a party where you only know the host can feel pretty awkward. But even if you do go and don't meet any single women that night, you can make new friends and connections. There's always a chance you may meet someone there who can set you up with your future girlfriend or long-term relationship – as was the case for Alex, 29.
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Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →
In the United States, there's an average of only seven single women between the ages of 20 and 44 per square mile. Now consider your "spots," the places you usually go despite the presence of equivalent alternatives: your Starbucks, your bank branch, your dry cleaner, your gym, your grocery store. These are embedded destinations in other people's travel itineraries, too, meaning they're also their "spots." If everyone repeats their routines, as the Northeastern University research suggests, the rate at which you encounter new women plummets.
Match has more than 30 million members. Think about it — where else are you going to be around that many single women? Not to mention the site gets 13.5 million monthly visitors. Its user base is just going to keep growing. Perhaps the most impressive fact, though, is that Match is responsible for more romantic connections than any other dating platform, so you’re in good hands.
Researchers note that shopping trips are fueled by social motives, including the desire for new communal experiences. Big-box stores are socially fertile: More than 10 million people pass through Ikea every week, and U.S. consumers spend an average of 2 to 3 hours each visit. And at Ikea, traffic moves one way, creating a natural movement and pacing that makes it easy to stroll and engage. Think about store or mall flow the next time you're shopping, and patronize spots, like the Apple store, that make kibitzing part of the experience. If you're the active type, L.L. Bean or REI might be a better bet.
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“It’s so hard being single again, I’ve been in a relationship for the last 4 years and it feels like starting from square one all over again. I’ve slowly gotten over my breakup, I’ve been dressing better, have gotten back into shape, yet at this point, I have no idea what to do or where I should even try meeting women since I hate going to bars & clubs.”
If you’re a physically active person or you’re trying to get back into shape what better way than to kill two birds with one stone than join a workout group, a co-ed sports league, or maybe even a running club if you’re into running. The beauty about joining these clubs besides finding like minded people (if you’re a workout warrior or love being physically active), having accountability, & a fun way to get into shape is that it helps you expand your social circle & these classes are usually heavily populated with fit & attractive women looking to break a sweat & socialize. I’d also like to add from my own personal experience is that because of the accountability & support system you’re more likely to stay with your fitness goals since you’re doing it with other people who are going through the same thing as you & you’re never bored.
You need to be careful here because there can be many instances where it’s rude to approach a woman in such a public space. Many frequent coffee shops to get work done, so if she’s feverishly typing away on her laptop, you should definitely let her do her thing. But if you lock eyes with a female patron and get the sense that she’s into you, say something. Coffee shops are often frequented by intelligent and bookish individuals, so if that’s your type, order yourself a cappuccino and casually survey the atmosphere. It’s like Tinder, but in real life - what a concept! Since many who frequent coffee shops tend to be regulars, a slow game is an option. After enough time has passed, you can make a comment along the lines of “fancy seeing you here,” and - boom! Ice broken.
Meeting someone through a friend just makes sense, especially if you’re looking for something beyond a one-night stand, says sex therapist and relationship expert Kat Van Kirk, author of The Married Sex Solution. “A friend-of-a-friend will have more in common with you than someone off the street,” Van Kirk explains. “Occasionally, crazy chemistry happens between two people who have nothing in common…but usually not. You probably want to look for someone similar to yourself.” Van Kirk also points out that women—understandably—tend to be more safety-conscious when it comes to dating, and having a mutual friend who can vouch for you will go a long way.
As for what to put in your profile, be sure you describe the exact type of girl you’re looking for (none of this “any girl will do” nonsense). Is this going to filter women out? Yes. But that’s the point. By actively filtering women you show that you’re a high-value guy with standards. This is going to make you more desirable for any woman who reads your profile. It’s also going to prevent you from wasting time with the wrong girls.