Your time to do that is shrinking, according to a 2008 Harris Interactive poll. Americans have just 16 hours a week—down 20 percent from 2007—that are all theirs. With leisure time scarce, many men make the mistake of blocking off a weekend night for dating, says Paul Dobransky, M.D., a Chicago psychiatrist who teaches men how to land any woman they want (check out a day in his life by clicking here). "Their lack of success is due to their hyperfocused approach," says Dr. Dobransky. "They see meeting women as something that is done rather than something that naturally happens, which is the way women view it."
If you’re a physically active person or you’re trying to get back into shape what better way than to kill two birds with one stone than join a workout group, a co-ed sports league, or maybe even a running club if you’re into running. The beauty about joining these clubs besides finding like minded people (if you’re a workout warrior or love being physically active), having accountability, & a fun way to get into shape is that it helps you expand your social circle & these classes are usually heavily populated with fit & attractive women looking to break a sweat & socialize. I’d also like to add from my own personal experience is that because of the accountability & support system you’re more likely to stay with your fitness goals since you’re doing it with other people who are going through the same thing as you & you’re never bored.
To make sure you’re that guy the only intention you want to have when speed dating is to have fun. Don’t worry about getting numbers or impressing anyone. Just see it as an excuse to meet cool people and do something different with your night. Make a point to chat with everyone – both girls and guys – before the event even starts. This way people will see you as the fun, confident guy who got everyone to loosen up and have a good time.
"I had two shift partners, one of whom ended up being my future wife. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, so while I thought she was cute, there was never any weird flirty tension. We shared one four-hour shift a week for about two years. Without really intending to, we became good friends because of the experiences we shared assisting clients and talking about our lives outside the hotline in between calls. Around the time she left the hotline, we both coincidentally went through breakups. We went from commiserating about our hotline work to commiserating about being single. Then one night she came over, we hooked up, and about a year and a half later we were married. I think what worked about meeting that way was that things developed really organically, because neither of us were there to meet people. We bonded over the work we were doing and the stuff we discovered we had in common over the years."
For some strange reason especially when I’m doing my grocery shopping and running errands I’ve always managed to meet the prettiest women at the local Whole Foods. It’s really easy to come off as creepy if you’re trying to chat up the pretty brunette you saw at the frozen food section so the best tip I can offer for you is stay away from using weird innuendos & puns involving melons, bananas, & other foods shaped like sexual organs. The best time to socialize with a girl at the local grocery store is while you’re in the checkout line or you’re waiting in line for a fresh cut of meat or fish. If however there aren’t any women in line & you manage to see a girl that’s really caught your eye, I’d recommend chatting a girl up at the food court section since a lot of Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, & even Costco have large food courts.
Just because you might not be in school anymore, that doesn’t mean you can’t take classes. We’re never too old to stop learning, and we’re never too old to stop meeting new people. Search online for some adult classes in your city and see what piques your interest. It could be painting (pictured below), cooking (pictured above), photography, guitar, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Most of these classes are probably pretty cheap, too, because they’re put on by colleges or local organizations. Plus, Groupon always has deals going on.
Your question may be answered right there and then. Normally this doesn't happen on your first try though so don't get discouraged. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't even have to ask where to meet older women, because that older woman may be wondering where to meet you! (In fact, while I was looking around online I found a lot more sites where the women are actually looking for younger men.)
In the United States, there's an average of only seven single women between the ages of 20 and 44 per square mile. Now consider your "spots," the places you usually go despite the presence of equivalent alternatives: your Starbucks, your bank branch, your dry cleaner, your gym, your grocery store. These are embedded destinations in other people's travel itineraries, too, meaning they're also their "spots." If everyone repeats their routines, as the Northeastern University research suggests, the rate at which you encounter new women plummets.
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This is an excellent way to contribute to the society, as well as showing your caring side to potential partners. There are very few attributes which can make a man as sexy as his kindness. Also, if surveys are to be believed, the volunteer network has way too many women and far too few men. Places like animal shelters are always your best bet, because apart from being in dire need of volunteers, you get to meet women who share the same passion as you do – animals. Other options include movie or music festivals, local theatre groups, homeless shelters, community drives, raising money for charity, running marathons and what not.
Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.
Public transportation can be one of the hardest places to strike up a conversation with a girl but, also incredibly rewarding if it goes well. It’s quite ironic because you could be sitting next to a girl for the next hour on the bus or train during rush hour. There are plenty of opportunities to chat a girl up but the most important this is to be mindful of her emotions, space, & comfort. It’s very easy to come off as a creepy guy if you’re not aware of these things
You can find out a lot just by asking subtle questions such as how often she comes there, how long has she been a member, what machines seem to work better than others. You know-casual stuff. You can even pretend you are clueless about working out and ask her if she has any suggestions for you or if she would be willing to give you a few pointers. Look for her the next time you come in and casually ask her if she wants to grab a drink (or coffee) afterward. So?
The number one reason why approaching a woman may not work is that you don’t have her full attention before speaking to her. By attention I mean you should have her eye contact. This means she won’t be either a. surprised when you speak to her or b. not listening. If she sees you before you begin speaking to her she’ll be more relaxed and you can also checkout her non-verbal signals (is she holding eye contact with you and smiling?) to see if she seems open to talking to you. Sometimes you may need to use a gesture or say ‘hey’ to get her to look up. Then I want you to pause and wait for her to fully realize ‘a man is talking to me’ before you continue speaking with her.