Right in front of you. Put down your damn phone! While you’re texting your friend about how hard it is to find a woman, the girl of your dreams is literally right in front of you. Only you’re too busy to notice her, because your eyes are glued to the screen. In reality, this scenario probably plays out hundreds of times per day amongst both men and women.
“It’s so hard being single again, I’ve been in a relationship for the last 4 years and it feels like starting from square one all over again. I’ve slowly gotten over my breakup, I’ve been dressing better, have gotten back into shape, yet at this point, I have no idea what to do or where I should even try meeting women since I hate going to bars & clubs.”
For long-term relationships, you may want to look to meet someone during your daily life—particularly through a religious, spiritual, or educational activity. This may help to increase the satisfaction and longevity of the relationship. Presumably, the similarities also help partners to make a deeper connection and share gratefully with each other. Religious and spiritual compatibility may also reduce the likelihood of cheating and infidelity. Such relationships may require self-introductions though. As a result, you may have to overcome anxiety, learn to break the ice, and ask for what you want (even indirectly) to begin an interaction.
Trying to meet a woman you want to date out of a crowded bar has a lot of variables and circumstances that is out of your control. There is the process of having to scope out the surrounding environment for someone you’re interested in, dealing with her group of friends, feeling out whether or not she’s single, approaching her with an opening line to hook her attention, and the added social pressure of trying to sustain a conversation in a loud environment. Not exactly the most ideal setting for getting to know someone, nurturing a deeper connection, and getting yourself a girlfriend in the long run.
Your time to do that is shrinking, according to a 2008 Harris Interactive poll. Americans have just 16 hours a week—down 20 percent from 2007—that are all theirs. With leisure time scarce, many men make the mistake of blocking off a weekend night for dating, says Paul Dobransky, M.D., a Chicago psychiatrist who teaches men how to land any woman they want (check out a day in his life by clicking here). "Their lack of success is due to their hyperfocused approach," says Dr. Dobransky. "They see meeting women as something that is done rather than something that naturally happens, which is the way women view it."
Take for instance my trip to London, I met a woman from my hometown on my first flight out while waiting in the lounge. On the connecting flight I met two British girls who sat across from my aisle; both lived in London near my hotel. On my last flight back home, I met another woman from my hometown who was returning from a vacation in another state.
Know when to end the conversation. Going on for too long can make you seem desperate or even scheming. When this woman is someone you'd really like to see again, say something like, "You know, I would love to hear more but I have to get back to work now. Tell me all about it over salsa dancing on Tuesday." Always leave the conversation to be continued. Do not exhaust the conversation as things can turn awkward and she may lose interest.