Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.
Your time to do that is shrinking, according to a 2008 Harris Interactive poll. Americans have just 16 hours a week—down 20 percent from 2007—that are all theirs. With leisure time scarce, many men make the mistake of blocking off a weekend night for dating, says Paul Dobransky, M.D., a Chicago psychiatrist who teaches men how to land any woman they want (check out a day in his life by clicking here). "Their lack of success is due to their hyperfocused approach," says Dr. Dobransky. "They see meeting women as something that is done rather than something that naturally happens, which is the way women view it."
This one may take you out of your comfort zone but if you want to get the most out of your social and dating life, getting out of your comfort zone is essential. Besides another fun way to get yourself into really good shape, learning how to dance has its social benefits. Besides impressing your friends, family, & the ladies next time you’re out, it’s a really fun way to meet women & for the guys who are uncomfortable with touching (in the context of flirting & seduction) it really helps.
In her ‘safe’ space: Barre class. A nail salon. Any place that’s traditionally filled with women might seem like the perfect place to, well, meet women. But women aren’t stupid, and they can see exactly what you’re trying to do, says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “If you go to an all-female yoga class with the intention of meeting women, you’ll come off as creepy and exploitative,” Thomas says. “If you’re just there for the yoga, that’s different.”
Northeastern University researchers took their dig in a 2008 study in the journal Nature, after they tracked the movements of 100,000 cellphone users for 6 months. Their finding: People are predictable. Nearly half of their human lab rats kept to a maze that was little more than 6 miles wide, and 83 percent mostly stayed within a 37-mile radius. And they tended to spend the majority of their time in five or fewer places.
"I work at a design firm on a small team of four," he says. "So when one of my coworkers bought a condo we were all invited over to celebrate. I was the only one on the team without a solid excuse for not showing up and plus, my coworker lives in the same neighborhood as I do so I figured I'd swing by. I ended up having a great time chatting with my coworker's sister and her husband -- to the point that her sister insisted that she let me set her up with her college friend who was moving here and didn't know anyone. I'm usually skeptical about people setting me up -- but she showed me a picture of her and I thought she was super pretty, so I agreed. I got her phone number then took her out a week or two after she moved to New York and we hit it off. She and I both always say how lucky we are that I went to that party."
When I worked downtown, I made it a habit to eat at all the local hipster places for lunch. Sure, it wasn’t always cheap however, I noticed an upside to it (aside from the often great food). A lot of women were doing the exact same thing as I was. They’d sit down next to me and we’d strike up a conversation. Yes, women eat alone too! Although, these weren’t always just women that worked nearby. The truth is, a fair number were from out of town, and quite lonely while looking for companionship in the city.
Some ways of meeting may be better for long-term relationships than others. Particularly, couples who meet in their daily lives, especially through church and school, are more satisfied with their relationships and less likely to break up than couples meeting other ways. This was supported by earlier surveys, which also found short-term and sexual relationships more likely to be started under the opposite meeting conditions—usually bars and restaurants (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994).
Researchers note that shopping trips are fueled by social motives, including the desire for new communal experiences. Big-box stores are socially fertile: More than 10 million people pass through Ikea every week, and U.S. consumers spend an average of 2 to 3 hours each visit. And at Ikea, traffic moves one way, creating a natural movement and pacing that makes it easy to stroll and engage. Think about store or mall flow the next time you're shopping, and patronize spots, like the Apple store, that make kibitzing part of the experience. If you're the active type, L.L. Bean or REI might be a better bet.
Yelp.com's 5 million local reviews can lead you to a dry cleaner, cafe, barbershop, or bookstore where all the cool people go. Post your own reviews and you may meet a fellow critic. The social-networking functions of the site allow readers to swap private messages, post public comments, and classify deserving reviews as funny, useful, or cool, so you can navigate them accordingly.
Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →
In this day and age, it’s time for the Hollywood hunk myth to be debunked! It’s true – money can’t buy you love, it’s well and truly free! Social status and wealth did not even rank in the top ten most attractive traits. So, if you’re funny, thoughtful, kind or caring, chances are you’re exactly the type of person that EliteSingles’ single women are looking for.
A few years ago I took an improv class to be able to think on the fly, prepare for job interviews, & get out of my head when I’m interacting with people. Besides the added skill-sets to my social tool box, I’ve managed to meet some really amazing people in these classes and my last girlfriend before she moved. My friend & I were the only two guys in this class of 10 with the other 8 all being women. Just like the last 4 suggestions I’ve made, these classes are specifically designed to breed social interaction.
Fortunately, our team has a lot of experience in this area and has put together a great list. If you want to meet older women dating younger men (or men your own age) you have to put yourself in their shoes and approach your search in the right way. These are very busy women with a lot going on. Try out our favorite spots below and make the most of your time!
The beauty of forging weak ties is that while others hunt, you gather. To be successful, you need to continually meet new people outside your existing circles in order to find quantity and diversity in new links. All connections have potential. For example, you may have written off the guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend, but he's the money ball. According to a 2003 study in Social Networks, dating couples share 20 percent to 25 percent of their friends, but that percentage increases to 50 when they start living together. The result: His network is likely to be populated with more women after he moves in with her.
The single women are waiting, but they're not doing it in front of an LCD screen, where you're more likely to be most nights. On any given day, more women attend or host social events, volunteer, join religious functions, practice hobbies, or go shopping, while the average single guy is home, pathetically alone. Compared with single women, single men spend 45 minutes more a day watching TV and about 20 minutes more on the computer.
Politics is always a touchy subject when it comes to most people but if you’re a curious person & you’re really interested in politics, I’d recommend volunteering your time to help out your local senator, congressman, mayor, or whatever public servant is running for political office. I don’t identify with any specific political party but in the past I’ve volunteered to campaign for both Republican and Democratic officials. If you’re really passionate about politics this is a great way to network & even meet women that are interested in the same political causes that you care about
Without sexual attraction, most women that you meet won’t be interested in anything more than a quick conversation. If you’re lucky, they may like to have you as a friend. If you want to have sex with women instead of just being seen as a friend or being rejected after a few minutes of conversation, make sure that you focus on creating a sexual vibe between you and the woman and making her feel sexually attracted to you.