We learn from movies and the media that women want to be hit on in cool and unusual places in a romantic and unique way. A lot the time when women do get approached in these places, they are easily creeped out. If you want to meet someone in a unique and fun way, then you have to be suave. You have to be confident, but not cocky. You have to be funny, but not over the top. Most importantly, you have to learn how to read her signals, and then go for it: ask for her digits and ask her out on a date.
For more specific preferences and needs, you may want to look for someone online, or through friends. Online dating can be particularly effective when you are geographically or socially isolated—or when partners who fit your preference are in short supply. Furthermore, friends who already have similar preferences or needs, particularly those within a specific community or group, may also be a good source of introduction to new partners. Also, if you are socially shy, it may be more comfortable to look for dates online or get introduced through friends. Thus, networking with likeminded people, both online and in real life, may be the key to you finding the specific love you're after.
It's 2019 – why are you still trying to meet women at loud, crowded and expensive bars? There are so many different things that can go wrong. If it's too packed, you could lose a half-hour just waiting to buy a drink; too empty and it'll feel weird and sad, and you won't be able to meet anyone new. Finding someone you're interested in typically begins with you surveying the scene and looking for people who are both attractive and not visibly taken -- or settling for just one of the two. Regardless, what are the actual chances that you'll hit it off? You have to decide whether to go with a stock pickup line or a custom-crafted joke or just a question and hope you picked the right one to pique her interest. And keep in mind this whole scenario is most likely occurring while you're both yelling in each other's ears over extremely loud music and the sounds of other people having a good time.
So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.
To show women you’re the guy they’re looking for make your profile as fun and engaging as possible. How do you do that? For starters make sure you’re in the right state of mind when you sit down to create your profile. If you’re feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or anything like that, those negative emotions will influence the way you write. Women will get that negative “vibe” and will move on to the next guy. So if you’re feeling down go out and get some exercise, then take a pass at creating your profile when you’re feeling refreshed and energized. By putting yourself in a positive state of mind you’ll automatically create a more fun, engaging profile.
If you stick to a 6-mile orbit, your romantic trajectory is stunted as well. "In the stock market, diversification is critical to reducing risk," says Amir Aczel, Ph.D., a former professor of mathematics and statistics at Bentley University near Boston and author of Chance. "In dating, the same rule applies. You should vary the places you go, and when you go there. This diversification will result in increased probability of meeting women who respond well to you."
Listen, Most guys do the shotgun approach to dating and as a result, they are going for women that they aren’t even compatible with. Hear me out, if you ask any successful business how they find customers they do it a very specific way so they can target the demographic that is most likely to be compatible and want to buy their product. You need to view dating the exact same way. And if you do this you’ll start meeting and dating the women that you actually want. Then you’ll be ready to approach a girl and spark that attraction.
The best way to do this (and there are lots of ways I can teach you to improve your conversations that I’ll talk to you about in later articles) is to share information about yourself rather than asking her questions. I know this seems counter-intuitive but when it comes to meeting women in real life instead of putting her on the spot with a question it will create more trust with her if you can tell her a few things about yourself whilst inviting her to speak.
For long-term relationships, you may want to look to meet someone during your daily life—particularly through a religious, spiritual, or educational activity. This may help to increase the satisfaction and longevity of the relationship. Presumably, the similarities also help partners to make a deeper connection and share gratefully with each other. Religious and spiritual compatibility may also reduce the likelihood of cheating and infidelity. Such relationships may require self-introductions though. As a result, you may have to overcome anxiety, learn to break the ice, and ask for what you want (even indirectly) to begin an interaction.
The single women are waiting, but they're not doing it in front of an LCD screen, where you're more likely to be most nights. On any given day, more women attend or host social events, volunteer, join religious functions, practice hobbies, or go shopping, while the average single guy is home, pathetically alone. Compared with single women, single men spend 45 minutes more a day watching TV and about 20 minutes more on the computer.
To get the most out of these nights out be sure to show up early to whatever venue you’re going to. This gives you a chance to get acclimated and comfortable in the environment. While you’re there, warm up your social muscles by chatting with the staff and anyone else who’s around. As the venue fills up look for a “high-traffic” area – someplace people walk past frequently – and post up there with your friends. That way instead of running around looking for girls to talk to, the girls will wind up walking right by you.
Parks, a University of Washington communication researcher and author of Personal Relationships & Personal Networks, has determined that 75 percent of the people who dated extensively the year before said they had help from a friend. In their corner is what Parks calls "the social proximity effect," which holds that the probability of two people meeting is directly proportional to the number of contacts they share. In other words, more friends means more female referrals. "Our research has shown that two-thirds of people who initiate a romantic relationship had met at least one of the dozen or so members of their partner's closest social network prior to meeting their part ner for the first time," says Parks, "and nearly half had met two or three." If you know Tom, and Tom knows Betty, then there's a greater chance you'll meet Betty. And if Tom also knows Susan, Heather, and Kimberly . . . well, then you owe Tom a fruit basket.
Just because you might not be in school anymore, that doesn’t mean you can’t take classes. We’re never too old to stop learning, and we’re never too old to stop meeting new people. Search online for some adult classes in your city and see what piques your interest. It could be painting (pictured below), cooking (pictured above), photography, guitar, and pretty much anything else you can think of. Most of these classes are probably pretty cheap, too, because they’re put on by colleges or local organizations. Plus, Groupon always has deals going on.