Admit it: You’ve all come across at least ONE cute girl on the subway or at the bus stand, but you never had the courage or time to approach her. But notice – don’t be too eager to approach a woman; you will be viewed as nothing more than a creep. Look at the signs. Is she too engrossed reading a book, playing Candy Crush on her phone or has her eyes closed with her earphones in place? Then take a hint: she doesn’t want anybody to disturb her. On the other hand, if she’s looking here and there or has a bored expression on her face, your chances of making eye contact with her increase. Just be smart enough to take her number before she gets off at her stop, will you?
"Men are possessed by the myth of the pickup," says David Grazian, Ph.D., an associate professor of sociology at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of On the Make: The Hustle of Urban Nightlife. It's in their heads that these bars and clubs are "teeming with anonymous females who are dying to have sex with any guy who is confident enough to talk to them." The reality is that less than 6 percent of women report having had sex with their partners within 2 days or less of meeting them, and less than 20 percent of adults say they first met their most recent sexual partner in a bar. Perhaps it's the nasty stigma of nightlife: A survey of 1,034 women by StrategyOne, a market research agency, reveals that nearly one in four women would be embarrassed to admit that she met a mate in a bar. (But just incase you do take home the girl of your dreams this weekend, make sure you know how to blow her mind in bed.)
Between the heartwarming speeches, the dancing and the alcohol, love is everywhere you look at a wedding. Whether marriage is your cup of tea or not, weddings facilitate love and, when paired with the alcohol, naturally influence romantic feelings. If it’s a friend’s wedding, there should be plenty of similar-aged women who will have a date with them or not. If not, they are probably single. There is also a good probability that you and a potential love interest will have a friend or two in common, which gives you an introduction and something to talk about. Considering most of the older guests leave before the midnight buffet, a wedding essentially becomes a night club after 11PM, except better because the booze is (usually) free and everyone is dressed to the nines.
In many ways, meeting someone through an online dating site or app is similar to meeting someone through a friend—thanks to detailed online dating profiles, you have a chance to get to know people before you actually meet them. And swiping left in your underwear is much more convenient than getting dressed up and going out to a bar, so it’s no surprise that nearly one-third of marriages today start online, according to a study commissioned by eHarmony.com.
After you’ve paid a compliment, lots of the time she may not expect or know how to continue the conversation. A simple way to signal to her that you want the conversation to keep going is to offer your name. This also builds some trust as she gets to know you on a more personal basis. Say, ‘my name’s John by the way…’ before you expect her to share her name with you. If she doesn’t want to share her name this is a good cue that she’s not open to talking to you and you can simply wish her a good day and leave the conversation.
Look, man, most guys are doing this dating thing all wrong. Someone once told me, if you wanted to sell a book, the hardest place to sell it is a bookstore. Why? Because you are competing with all the other books. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s definitely true when it comes to dating. If you go to bars, clubs or searching online then you are competing with every other guy there.
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Try to avoid compliments that are overly focused on her looks or very generic. Chat up lines like, ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven’ deserve to be banned for life. Also avoid clichés like ‘you have beautiful eyes’ as this may well make her think that you’re just another guy hitting on her. If possible compliment her on HOW she’s doing something, ‘I like how focused you are’ ‘I like how you have this big smile, it looks like you’re having a great conversation…’ and if all else fails keep it low key with an implied compliment like, ‘I just had to come and say hi.’ It’s a classic but a good one!
When you approach in a confident, easy-going way, most women drop their guard and open up to the conversation. However, if you approach in a nervous or appear intimidated by the women, they will automatically close off to you and the conversation. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. This is why confidence is the #1 thing you need to have before you begin trying to meet new women.