Let your friends know that you’re open to meeting people—if you don’t, many will assume you’re happily single—but don’t ask them to set you up on completely blind dates. “Ask for a phone number or an email address so you can make the plans and feel her out a bit,” Van Kirk says. “You want to be sure that going on a blind date is worth both of your time.”
Not only does volunteering for a charity event, community theater or fundraiser put you in an environment with like-minded people who share your values, but it also affords you time to spend alongside them to get to know them -- which is how Francis, 30 met his wife. "When I lived in Long Island, I started volunteering for a crisis hotline," he says.
Trying to meet a woman you want to date out of a crowded bar has a lot of variables and circumstances that is out of your control. There is the process of having to scope out the surrounding environment for someone you’re interested in, dealing with her group of friends, feeling out whether or not she’s single, approaching her with an opening line to hook her attention, and the added social pressure of trying to sustain a conversation in a loud environment. Not exactly the most ideal setting for getting to know someone, nurturing a deeper connection, and getting yourself a girlfriend in the long run.
The single women are waiting, but they're not doing it in front of an LCD screen, where you're more likely to be most nights. On any given day, more women attend or host social events, volunteer, join religious functions, practice hobbies, or go shopping, while the average single guy is home, pathetically alone. Compared with single women, single men spend 45 minutes more a day watching TV and about 20 minutes more on the computer.
Meeting someone through a friend just makes sense, especially if you’re looking for something beyond a one-night stand, says sex therapist and relationship expert Kat Van Kirk, author of The Married Sex Solution. “A friend-of-a-friend will have more in common with you than someone off the street,” Van Kirk explains. “Occasionally, crazy chemistry happens between two people who have nothing in common…but usually not. You probably want to look for someone similar to yourself.” Van Kirk also points out that women—understandably—tend to be more safety-conscious when it comes to dating, and having a mutual friend who can vouch for you will go a long way.
Fortunately, our team has a lot of experience in this area and has put together a great list. If you want to meet older women dating younger men (or men your own age) you have to put yourself in their shoes and approach your search in the right way. These are very busy women with a lot going on. Try out our favorite spots below and make the most of your time!
You can find out a lot just by asking subtle questions such as how often she comes there, how long has she been a member, what machines seem to work better than others. You know-casual stuff. You can even pretend you are clueless about working out and ask her if she has any suggestions for you or if she would be willing to give you a few pointers. Look for her the next time you come in and casually ask her if she wants to grab a drink (or coffee) afterward. So?
This one may take you out of your comfort zone but if you want to get the most out of your social and dating life, getting out of your comfort zone is essential. Besides another fun way to get yourself into really good shape, learning how to dance has its social benefits. Besides impressing your friends, family, & the ladies next time you’re out, it’s a really fun way to meet women & for the guys who are uncomfortable with touching (in the context of flirting & seduction) it really helps.
The real world of dating is rough on men. The risk and onus of rejection are almost always on them, because men initiate about 80 percent of encounters. And the competition is brutal for men in their 20s and 30s: For every 100 unmarried women there's an average of 113 unmarried men, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. And those men just aren't doing the job. The Pew Research Center found that about half of young singles reported going on no more than one date in the 3 months prior to its survey, and 55 percent of singles who were looking for love said it was hard to meet people.
Know when to end the conversation. Going on for too long can make you seem desperate or even scheming. When this woman is someone you'd really like to see again, say something like, "You know, I would love to hear more but I have to get back to work now. Tell me all about it over salsa dancing on Tuesday." Always leave the conversation to be continued. Do not exhaust the conversation as things can turn awkward and she may lose interest.