In her ‘safe’ space: Barre class. A nail salon. Any place that’s traditionally filled with women might seem like the perfect place to, well, meet women. But women aren’t stupid, and they can see exactly what you’re trying to do, says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “If you go to an all-female yoga class with the intention of meeting women, you’ll come off as creepy and exploitative,” Thomas says. “If you’re just there for the yoga, that’s different.”
We've all had this one happen to us in some capacity – whether it's a coworker's housewarming party or your neighbor down the hall insisting you swing by for a get together they're having, going to a party where you only know the host can feel pretty awkward. But even if you do go and don't meet any single women that night, you can make new friends and connections. There's always a chance you may meet someone there who can set you up with your future girlfriend or long-term relationship – as was the case for Alex, 29.
Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click. "When people are working toward a shared outcome, they're more likely to grow closer together," says Parks. Recreational outfits make it easy to form new connections because individuals can sign up and be assigned to a team without needing to know anyone.
Another place to meet single women who have similar interests as you is through local classes. Anything from a dance class to a cooking, art, or improv class can be a fantastic place to meet single women. Why? Because meeting girls in this environment gives you a shared experience to bond over. Plus, you’re in a space where everyone is messing up, and that vulnerability will have everyone feeling close and connected very quickly. This feeling of connection and bonding is going to go a long way in getting that cute, single girl interested in getting together after class.
Now, while there’s success in numbers, don’t fool yourself. Women notice when a men gets rejected, even if he’s half away across the room. Most guys keep trying over and over, and by the end of the night their heads hung down low and they reek of desperation. Will they see success after the twentieth time? Sure, they might. However, most guys don’t have a large enough emotional bank account to handle that much rejection, especially in one single night.
Even if you're not an all-star sports player, relationship expert Kayla Kalinski says playing on a neighborhood sports league can help expand your social circle and, in turn, open you up to the possibility of meeting that special someone. "One of the best ways we tell our clients to meet their future significant other is by joining community sports leagues," she says. "Worst case scenario, you just make a couple new friends -- but don't forget, friends know other friends who know other friends -- and your chances of being set up with someone special by your new buddies is greater than ever." If coffee shop hangouts are too cliché for you (or if you just don't drink coffee!), then a sports league might fit the bill – and, unlike at coffee shops, you'll be getting a workout in, too!
Yes-older woman run to stay in shape just like you do, especially older women seeking younger men. After you have established your jogging routine look for familiar faces as you run. Jog alongside and make casual conservation-about anything! The scenery, the length of the run..anything to get her talking to you. Try to be in the same area at the same time each day. You want to make it look like this is something you do every day (you should anyway) so she doesn't think you are stalking her!
Right in front of you. Put down your damn phone! While you’re texting your friend about how hard it is to find a woman, the girl of your dreams is literally right in front of you. Only you’re too busy to notice her, because your eyes are glued to the screen. In reality, this scenario probably plays out hundreds of times per day amongst both men and women.
The beauty of forging weak ties is that while others hunt, you gather. To be successful, you need to continually meet new people outside your existing circles in order to find quantity and diversity in new links. All connections have potential. For example, you may have written off the guy with a wife or live-in girlfriend, but he's the money ball. According to a 2003 study in Social Networks, dating couples share 20 percent to 25 percent of their friends, but that percentage increases to 50 when they start living together. The result: His network is likely to be populated with more women after he moves in with her.
Now you might be afraid that she’ll ask you why you are there. First of all, they almost never ask. If she does, just tell her you are taking a walk, or you like the coffee shop or that you have a friend that goes there, if it’s true. Or be honest and say that you don’t like meeting women at bars and clubs because they are too drunk and sloppy. You’d be surprised at how many women love that answer.
Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.