As a general rule, women are more approachable and less suspicious when they meet guys through the course of a regular day and in an atmosphere when they feel at ease, as opposed to when a guy introduces himself in a more typical setting (bars or clubs, for example). For a lot of women, anything with a meat-market vibe is not ideal for meetin men, and if you go through this list motivated only by a slavering desire for sex, women will detect that insincerity, and you'll fool exactly nobody. Don't look at these as pickup strategies; just think of them as generally positive habits that happen to have an added benefit.
We've all had this one happen to us in some capacity – whether it's a coworker's housewarming party or your neighbor down the hall insisting you swing by for a get together they're having, going to a party where you only know the host can feel pretty awkward. But even if you do go and don't meet any single women that night, you can make new friends and connections. There's always a chance you may meet someone there who can set you up with your future girlfriend or long-term relationship – as was the case for Alex, 29.
In her ‘safe’ space: Barre class. A nail salon. Any place that’s traditionally filled with women might seem like the perfect place to, well, meet women. But women aren’t stupid, and they can see exactly what you’re trying to do, says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “If you go to an all-female yoga class with the intention of meeting women, you’ll come off as creepy and exploitative,” Thomas says. “If you’re just there for the yoga, that’s different.”
Your time to do that is shrinking, according to a 2008 Harris Interactive poll. Americans have just 16 hours a week—down 20 percent from 2007—that are all theirs. With leisure time scarce, many men make the mistake of blocking off a weekend night for dating, says Paul Dobransky, M.D., a Chicago psychiatrist who teaches men how to land any woman they want (check out a day in his life by clicking here). "Their lack of success is due to their hyperfocused approach," says Dr. Dobransky. "They see meeting women as something that is done rather than something that naturally happens, which is the way women view it."
Understand that rejection is part of the dating deal. Some women won't be interested because they don't feel the spark or the click. Respect that––it's far better to have honesty up front than to insist on a meeting of minds and bodies that is never going to be nicely compatible but is forced and uncaring. Rather than taking rejection personally, realize that this is an important step in finding the right woman amid a sea of women who aren't your perfect match.
So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
With eHarmony you know that every woman on the site is extremely motivated to actually meet guys instead of just looking around. The signup process is more involved and takes more time than other sites so all the women who are just looking for attention or a distraction are filtered out. That means all the women who complete their questionnaire are very, very motivated to respond to your messages or message you first (not to mention meet up offline)!
OK, hitting on women at the gym can be a major no-no, but it can work out sometimes if you read the signals and make your move in a friendly, non-creepy way. For example, when she’s in the middle of a 30-minute run on the treadmill and sweating profusely, don’t approach her. If she’s got her headphones in, don’t approach her. If she’s deadlifting, obviously, don’t approach her.
If you’re the type of person that likes to do good for the community and you genuinely love helping people, one of the best places to meet women is volunteering. Also, along with having the added benefit of being in an environment with other like-minded people who want to serve the community what better way to communicate to a girl what kind of person you are then volunteering your time for a cause you genuinely care about & finding ways to help people in need. In the case you don’t know what causes you care about or what to do, I’d recommend making a list of things you deeply care about or if you still have no idea you can take a look at this list:
AskMen Recommends: If you're looking for sex rather than a relationship, you might want to choose FriendFinder-X over Zoosk or Match. FF-X is a hookup site that focuses on your desires in the bedroom rather than everything else. In terms of features, you can message other users, sure, -- but you can also live-broadcast, for instance, while the "What's Hot" section highlights the top-rated pictures, profiles and videos on the site.
Do you have a dog? If not, get one, or borrow one from a friend. Offer to take the critter for a walk around town or in the park! Mature women love to see a young guy walking his pet and she might strike up a conversation with you-especially if she has a dog of her own. If it happens to be a younger woman who tries to come on to you, be polite but move on.
“It’s so hard being single again, I’ve been in a relationship for the last 4 years and it feels like starting from square one all over again. I’ve slowly gotten over my breakup, I’ve been dressing better, have gotten back into shape, yet at this point, I have no idea what to do or where I should even try meeting women since I hate going to bars & clubs.”
A few years ago I took an improv class to be able to think on the fly, prepare for job interviews, & get out of my head when I’m interacting with people. Besides the added skill-sets to my social tool box, I’ve managed to meet some really amazing people in these classes and my last girlfriend before she moved. My friend & I were the only two guys in this class of 10 with the other 8 all being women. Just like the last 4 suggestions I’ve made, these classes are specifically designed to breed social interaction.
Without sexual attraction, most women that you meet won’t be interested in anything more than a quick conversation. If you’re lucky, they may like to have you as a friend. If you want to have sex with women instead of just being seen as a friend or being rejected after a few minutes of conversation, make sure that you focus on creating a sexual vibe between you and the woman and making her feel sexually attracted to you.