To show women you’re the guy they’re looking for make your profile as fun and engaging as possible. How do you do that? For starters make sure you’re in the right state of mind when you sit down to create your profile. If you’re feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or anything like that, those negative emotions will influence the way you write. Women will get that negative “vibe” and will move on to the next guy. So if you’re feeling down go out and get some exercise, then take a pass at creating your profile when you’re feeling refreshed and energized. By putting yourself in a positive state of mind you’ll automatically create a more fun, engaging profile.
But the situation doesn't have to be that bleak. In fact, there's no better time to be single than during economic uncertainty. A recent eHarmony survey found that one in four single women say that financial stress has increased their interest in a relationship. Compare that with the 61 percent of men who say money worries are causing stress in their love lives. Look at it this way: More women are on the market, and they're primed to connect. But men are looking to meet them over $12 martinis—and are going home alone and broke. There's an opening here for you: Think patterns, not people. Forget the pickup lines and rely on the new rules of attraction. We can help you with the odds.
If you’re not confident in your looks, you may be tempted to hide behind a low-quality or strategically cropped profile picture—don’t. “Make sure your profile picture is clear and shows both your face and body,” Van Kirk says. “This is not just about showing how attractive you are—women feel safer about online dating if they feel like they know who they’re talking to.” That said, studies have shown that guys get the best responses when their profile pics show them looking away from the camera and not smiling.
After you’ve paid a compliment, lots of the time she may not expect or know how to continue the conversation. A simple way to signal to her that you want the conversation to keep going is to offer your name. This also builds some trust as she gets to know you on a more personal basis. Say, ‘my name’s John by the way…’ before you expect her to share her name with you. If she doesn’t want to share her name this is a good cue that she’s not open to talking to you and you can simply wish her a good day and leave the conversation.
Look, man, most guys are doing this dating thing all wrong. Someone once told me, if you wanted to sell a book, the hardest place to sell it is a bookstore. Why? Because you are competing with all the other books. I don’t know if that’s true, but it’s definitely true when it comes to dating. If you go to bars, clubs or searching online then you are competing with every other guy there.
If you have a dog, if you’re a dog lover, or you want to get some fresh air with your best friend, the dog park is one of the best places to meet women. Not only are dogs man’s best friend, I’d argue they’re also man’s best wingman. It’s really easy to get social and meet women. Play with her dog, chat her up and maybe you might even end up setting a playdate to let your dogs play while you hang out with her.
"The rhythmic pulse of music lets listeners synchronize with one another, which can increase group cohesion," says Michael Cunningham, Ph. D., a psychologist and professor of communication at the University of Louisville. Concerts are good, but music festivals attract a more diverse crowd because of the different acts, and transcend the behavioral norms of everyday life. Visit festivalfinder.com for events near you.
Another place to meet single women who have similar interests as you is through local classes. Anything from a dance class to a cooking, art, or improv class can be a fantastic place to meet single women. Why? Because meeting girls in this environment gives you a shared experience to bond over. Plus, you’re in a space where everyone is messing up, and that vulnerability will have everyone feeling close and connected very quickly. This feeling of connection and bonding is going to go a long way in getting that cute, single girl interested in getting together after class.
Animal adoption centers. Meet man’s best friend and potentially your next girlfriend. Let’s face it, shelter pups need the same kind of love and companionship you’re looking for. However, that doesn’t mean you must adopt a dog on the spot at a local shelter or animal rescue center. You can always go with the intent of simply interacting with pets who desperately need a human friend for a day. Most, if not all of these places will gladly welcome you with open arms.
Let your friends know that you’re open to meeting people—if you don’t, many will assume you’re happily single—but don’t ask them to set you up on completely blind dates. “Ask for a phone number or an email address so you can make the plans and feel her out a bit,” Van Kirk says. “You want to be sure that going on a blind date is worth both of your time.”
So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
With eHarmony you know that every woman on the site is extremely motivated to actually meet guys instead of just looking around. The signup process is more involved and takes more time than other sites so all the women who are just looking for attention or a distraction are filtered out. That means all the women who complete their questionnaire are very, very motivated to respond to your messages or message you first (not to mention meet up offline)!
Now you might be afraid that she’ll ask you why you are there. First of all, they almost never ask. If she does, just tell her you are taking a walk, or you like the coffee shop or that you have a friend that goes there, if it’s true. Or be honest and say that you don’t like meeting women at bars and clubs because they are too drunk and sloppy. You’d be surprised at how many women love that answer.
If you are also at Happy Hour with a group of your bros, and you spot a group of ladies near you with a similar amount of people, grab your/ their server, and buy them a round of whatever they’ve been ordering. It’s classy and it’s opening the conversation in a non-creepy way. If they’re interested, then they will probably come by and say thank you or maybe buy your round of shots if they’re cool chicks.
Join meetup groups or organizations that you enjoy such as hiking or wine meetup groups. You’ll find other women with the same hobbies so you’ll immediately have a connection and something to talk about. You can also take seminars or classes that interest you. I’ve found that a lot of women love to attend personal development workshops like PSI or Millionaire Mind Intensive and the women usually outnumber the men.
In the United States, there's an average of only seven single women between the ages of 20 and 44 per square mile. Now consider your "spots," the places you usually go despite the presence of equivalent alternatives: your Starbucks, your bank branch, your dry cleaner, your gym, your grocery store. These are embedded destinations in other people's travel itineraries, too, meaning they're also their "spots." If everyone repeats their routines, as the Northeastern University research suggests, the rate at which you encounter new women plummets.
As a general rule, women are more approachable and less suspicious when they meet guys through the course of a regular day and in an atmosphere when they feel at ease, as opposed to when a guy introduces himself in a more typical setting (bars or clubs, for example). For a lot of women, anything with a meat-market vibe is not ideal for meetin men, and if you go through this list motivated only by a slavering desire for sex, women will detect that insincerity, and you'll fool exactly nobody. Don't look at these as pickup strategies; just think of them as generally positive habits that happen to have an added benefit.