So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
"Men are possessed by the myth of the pickup," says David Grazian, Ph.D., an associate professor of sociology at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of On the Make: The Hustle of Urban Nightlife. It's in their heads that these bars and clubs are "teeming with anonymous females who are dying to have sex with any guy who is confident enough to talk to them." The reality is that less than 6 percent of women report having had sex with their partners within 2 days or less of meeting them, and less than 20 percent of adults say they first met their most recent sexual partner in a bar. Perhaps it's the nasty stigma of nightlife: A survey of 1,034 women by StrategyOne, a market research agency, reveals that nearly one in four women would be embarrassed to admit that she met a mate in a bar. (But just incase you do take home the girl of your dreams this weekend, make sure you know how to blow her mind in bed.)
Fortunately, our team has a lot of experience in this area and has put together a great list. If you want to meet older women dating younger men (or men your own age) you have to put yourself in their shoes and approach your search in the right way. These are very busy women with a lot going on. Try out our favorite spots below and make the most of your time!
If you’re on the road for business, one of the few available social options is the hotel lounge or hotel bar. People flock to these places to avoid being trapped in their room all night… so most women will be ready and willing to have a conversation if they’re down in the hotel lounge, many of which who may be wives who are out on the road for work trips and are looking to cheat.
This way to meet older women is one for the long-haul, not the short-term plus you can earn some money while waiting to meet Fido’s gal. another advantage is you can earn instant trust, which could take months any other way you meet older women. If you care for her precious Fido better than anyone else and send her photos of how much fun you’re having while you care for her, she will instantly see you as part of her inner circle of friends.
Selflessness is sexy. A 2008 study published in the British Journal of Psychology showed that women consider altruism more important in a mate than men do. To show your selfless stuff , try joining a Meetup volunteer group (volunteerism.meetup.com).This net work serves a variety of causes, allows you to select groups with members who share your interests, and lets you see who has signed up for which projects.
Now you might be afraid that she’ll ask you why you are there. First of all, they almost never ask. If she does, just tell her you are taking a walk, or you like the coffee shop or that you have a friend that goes there, if it’s true. Or be honest and say that you don’t like meeting women at bars and clubs because they are too drunk and sloppy. You’d be surprised at how many women love that answer.
Today is your lucky day, to help you figure out where you want to begin your search, I’ve put together a comprehensive list of the 20 best places to meet women other than a bar and club to expand your social network, build new friendships, and most of all meet women. If the bars and clubs isn’t your scene, not to worry. There are plenty of places on this list where you can rebuild your social and dating life. A lot of men make the mistake of going straight into the nightlife whether they’re coming off a long relationship or have no dating experience. It’s understandable since it’s a distraction and a quick fix to cope with the difficult emotions of a breakup and most conventional dating advice usually give men & women strategies & tactics on how to communicate & seduce each other in a nightlife setting such as a bar or a club.
Team play encourages what sociologists call "situational generalization"—in other words, positive circumstances help people click. "When people are working toward a shared outcome, they're more likely to grow closer together," says Parks. Recreational outfits make it easy to form new connections because individuals can sign up and be assigned to a team without needing to know anyone.
It's a surprisingly detrimental decision. A 2008 study in Social Indicators Research reveals that unhappy people watch 30 percent more TV every day than very happy people. "It's possible that TV causes people to be unhappy because it pushes aside time for activities with long-term benefits," says study author John Robinson, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland and director of the Americans' Use of Time Project. "Or TV viewing is an outlet for people who are already unhappy."
Not exactly the best setting for getting to know someone, let alone landing yourself a serious, long-term relationship. Aren't there better places to meet a woman nowadays? Where else can you hope to meet your next potential partner? Are there better ways to meet girls? We asked a few real men who bypassed the bar scene to tell us how they met their current girlfriends -- and they had a few creative suggestions to share.
Parks, a University of Washington communication researcher and author of Personal Relationships & Personal Networks, has determined that 75 percent of the people who dated extensively the year before said they had help from a friend. In their corner is what Parks calls "the social proximity effect," which holds that the probability of two people meeting is directly proportional to the number of contacts they share. In other words, more friends means more female referrals. "Our research has shown that two-thirds of people who initiate a romantic relationship had met at least one of the dozen or so members of their partner's closest social network prior to meeting their part ner for the first time," says Parks, "and nearly half had met two or three." If you know Tom, and Tom knows Betty, then there's a greater chance you'll meet Betty. And if Tom also knows Susan, Heather, and Kimberly . . . well, then you owe Tom a fruit basket.
Know when to end the conversation. Going on for too long can make you seem desperate or even scheming. When this woman is someone you'd really like to see again, say something like, "You know, I would love to hear more but I have to get back to work now. Tell me all about it over salsa dancing on Tuesday." Always leave the conversation to be continued. Do not exhaust the conversation as things can turn awkward and she may lose interest.