So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.

So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.


Of course, there are so many ways to meet women in real life but it’s hard to understand their personality or life interests judging only by their appearance. The best way to meet and date local ladies is trying online dating. This is the easiest way to find single girls from your area looking for the same things as you are: friendship, flirt, romance or a long-term relationship.

Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →


Meeting a potential relationship partner does not have to be confusing or challenging, especially when you have a particular goal in mind. You will often have the best success when you look in the places and ways that will bring you in touch with likeminded people. Specifically, long-term relationships are often found with others who are focused on similar long-term religious, spiritual, or educational activities in their daily lives. In contrast, short-term and sexual relationships can best be found with others who have such immediate excitement and pleasure on their mind—usually in the nightlife of bars, clubs, and restaurants. Finally, finding some specific relationship preference and need can often be accomplished by networking with others who are compatible in those ways—either online or through social groups. In any case, finding others with similar love life preferences and goals will bring you closer to satisfying yours.
If you’re a physically active person or you’re trying to get back into shape what better way than to kill two birds with one stone than join a workout group, a co-ed sports league, or maybe even a running club if you’re into running. The beauty about joining these clubs besides finding like minded people (if you’re a workout warrior or love being physically active), having accountability, & a fun way to get into shape is that it helps you expand your social circle & these classes are usually heavily populated with fit & attractive women looking to break a sweat & socialize. I’d also like to add from my own personal experience is that because of the accountability & support system you’re more likely to stay with your fitness goals since you’re doing it with other people who are going through the same thing as you & you’re never bored.
"I work at a design firm on a small team of four," he says. "So when one of my coworkers bought a condo we were all invited over to celebrate. I was the only one on the team without a solid excuse for not showing up and plus, my coworker lives in the same neighborhood as I do so I figured I'd swing by. I ended up having a great time chatting with my coworker's sister and her husband -- to the point that her sister insisted that she let me set her up with her college friend who was moving here and didn't know anyone. I'm usually skeptical about people setting me up -- but she showed me a picture of her and I thought she was super pretty, so I agreed. I got her phone number then took her out a week or two after she moved to New York and we hit it off. She and I both always say how lucky we are that I went to that party."
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."
Our first tip is pretty obvious — you need to get online if you want to change your dating situation. Dating sites and apps have become the top way to meet people for many reasons. Not only can you quickly and easily find local single women, but you can also narrow down other preferences like age, appearance, education, religion, ethnicity, and interests.
In her ‘safe’ space: Barre class. A nail salon. Any place that’s traditionally filled with women might seem like the perfect place to, well, meet women. But women aren’t stupid, and they can see exactly what you’re trying to do, says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “If you go to an all-female yoga class with the intention of meeting women, you’ll come off as creepy and exploitative,” Thomas says. “If you’re just there for the yoga, that’s different.”

In many ways, meeting someone through an online dating site or app is similar to meeting someone through a friend—thanks to detailed online dating profiles, you have a chance to get to know people before you actually meet them. And swiping left in your underwear is much more convenient than getting dressed up and going out to a bar, so it’s no surprise that nearly one-third of marriages today start online, according to a study commissioned by eHarmony.com.
If you’re not sure where to start, we recommend sites like VolunteerMatch.org and GreatNonprofits.org. They’re kind of like dating sites — you put in your location and interests, among other identifiers, and the site will find the right organization for your needs. You can also read reviews from your peers to get an idea of the kind of work you’ll be doing and the people you’ll be interacting with.
Today is your lucky day, to help you figure out where you want to begin your search, I’ve put together a comprehensive list of the 20 best places to meet women other than a bar and club to expand your social network, build new friendships, and most of all meet women. If the bars and clubs isn’t your scene, not to worry. There are plenty of places on this list where you can rebuild your social and dating life. A lot of men make the mistake of going straight into the nightlife whether they’re coming off a long relationship or have no dating experience. It’s understandable since it’s a distraction and a quick fix to cope with the difficult emotions of a breakup and most conventional dating advice usually give men & women strategies & tactics on how to communicate & seduce each other in a nightlife setting such as a bar or a club.
Researchers note that shopping trips are fueled by social motives, including the desire for new communal experiences. Big-box stores are socially fertile: More than 10 million people pass through Ikea every week, and U.S. consumers spend an average of 2 to 3 hours each visit. And at Ikea, traffic moves one way, creating a natural movement and pacing that makes it easy to stroll and engage. Think about store or mall flow the next time you're shopping, and patronize spots, like the Apple store, that make kibitzing part of the experience. If you're the active type, L.L. Bean or REI might be a better bet.   

As for what to put in your profile, be sure you describe the exact type of girl you’re looking for (none of this “any girl will do” nonsense).  Is this going to filter women out?  Yes.  But that’s the point.  By actively filtering women you show that you’re a high-value guy with standards.  This is going to make you more desirable for any woman who reads your profile.  It’s also going to prevent you from wasting time with the wrong girls.

Politics is always a touchy subject when it comes to most people but if you’re a curious person & you’re really interested in politics, I’d recommend volunteering your time to help out your local senator, congressman, mayor, or whatever public servant is running for political office. I don’t identify with any specific political party but in the past I’ve volunteered to campaign for both Republican and Democratic officials. If you’re really passionate about politics this is a great way to network & even meet women that are interested in the same political causes that you care about
To make sure you’re that guy the only intention you want to have when speed dating is to have fun.  Don’t worry about getting numbers or impressing anyone.  Just see it as an excuse to meet cool people and do something different with your night.  Make a point to chat with everyone – both girls and guys – before the event even starts.  This way people will see you as the fun, confident guy who got everyone to loosen up and have a good time.
In her ‘safe’ space: Barre class. A nail salon. Any place that’s traditionally filled with women might seem like the perfect place to, well, meet women. But women aren’t stupid, and they can see exactly what you’re trying to do, says psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, Ph.D. “If you go to an all-female yoga class with the intention of meeting women, you’ll come off as creepy and exploitative,” Thomas says. “If you’re just there for the yoga, that’s different.”
Apart from giving you a lot of fresh air, exercise, a change of location and lots of vitamin D, parks can prove to be extremely useful places if you wanna know where to meet single women. Of course, you can’t just sit at a bench and stare at women that pass by, so how about bringing a book, your dog, or simply your iPod with you. Even if you don’t get to meet someone, you’ll be doing something different in your rut of a life.

You need to be careful here because there can be many instances where it’s rude to approach a woman in such a public space. Many frequent coffee shops to get work done, so if she’s feverishly typing away on her laptop, you should definitely let her do her thing. But if you lock eyes with a female patron and get the sense that she’s into you, say something. Coffee shops are often frequented by intelligent and bookish individuals, so if that’s your type, order yourself a cappuccino and casually survey the atmosphere. It’s like Tinder, but in real life - what a concept! Since many who frequent coffee shops tend to be regulars, a slow game is an option. After enough time has passed, you can make a comment along the lines of “fancy seeing you here,” and - boom! Ice broken.
As long as you’ve sparked feelings of attraction inside a woman, she will be open to giving you her phone number. One of the keys to meeting women is that you actually move things forward to the next level. For example: Conversation > Phone number, or Conversation > Kiss, or Kiss > Sex. Don’t ever wait for a women to suggest the next move. You’ve got to lead the way by believing in yourself and knowing that if you’re being confident around her, she is naturally going to be feeling attraction for you. The more confidence you allow yourself to feel, the more naturally attracted she will be to you.
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