"I met my girlfriend Stephanie at a book signing for Karen Russell," he says. "The line was kind of disorderly, so I turned to the person behind me and said, 'I didn't cut you, did I?' and she said, 'No.' That was Stephanie. I said, 'So are you a big Karen Russell fan?' and she said, 'Yes.' I asked who some of her other favorite authors were, and we chatted briefly. She got her book signed, then I got mine signed. Afterward I turned around, and she was standing there waiting for me. It turned out we were both going to Grand Central, so we walked there together. We had very immediate, very obvious chemistry. We got to the corner where we needed to split up, and Stephanie said, 'I want to keep talking to you though.' Her train was leaving shortly before mine, so I went with her to her train, then jumped off just as the doors were closing and hurried to catch my train. I had given her my business card, and she emailed me the next day. We've been together for almost five years."
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."
What Real Men Say: "Salsa dancing is part of my culture," says Javier, 26. "So when my sister's friend opened a dance studio in our neighborhood I came for the grand opening and complimentary salsa class -- and had so much fun that I ended up buying a class package. As one of the only men in the class, I had my pick of partners which was nice, and made a lot of friends during my time there. Around my fifth or sixth class we all planned on meeting up at a salsa club after class to try out what we had learned, and I saw my current girlfriend Ramona there with her group of friends -- one of which knew one of the class members I was out with. She introduced us, and we danced together until 2 a.m. when the club closed down. We've been together ever since."
The best way to do this (and there are lots of ways I can teach you to improve your conversations that I’ll talk to you about in later articles) is to share information about yourself rather than asking her questions. I know this seems counter-intuitive but when it comes to meeting women in real life instead of putting her on the spot with a question it will create more trust with her if you can tell her a few things about yourself whilst inviting her to speak.
With eHarmony you know that every woman on the site is extremely motivated to actually meet guys instead of just looking around. The signup process is more involved and takes more time than other sites so all the women who are just looking for attention or a distraction are filtered out. That means all the women who complete their questionnaire are very, very motivated to respond to your messages or message you first (not to mention meet up offline)!
"I met my girlfriend Stephanie at a book signing for Karen Russell," he says. "The line was kind of disorderly, so I turned to the person behind me and said, 'I didn't cut you, did I?' and she said, 'No.' That was Stephanie. I said, 'So are you a big Karen Russell fan?' and she said, 'Yes.' I asked who some of her other favorite authors were, and we chatted briefly. She got her book signed, then I got mine signed. Afterward I turned around, and she was standing there waiting for me. It turned out we were both going to Grand Central, so we walked there together. We had very immediate, very obvious chemistry. We got to the corner where we needed to split up, and Stephanie said, 'I want to keep talking to you though.' Her train was leaving shortly before mine, so I went with her to her train, then jumped off just as the doors were closing and hurried to catch my train. I had given her my business card, and she emailed me the next day. We've been together for almost five years."
All that being said, if you're a busy guy, you should know that the fastest and simplest way to meet women these days is going online. Regardless of how old you are or what kind of women you're into, online dating sites are typically a surefire, smarter way of approaching women versus randomly saying hello to strangers in public, which is more likely to get you labeled a creep by women who are not looking to be hit on. With that in mind, here are the top online dating sites AskMen recommends:
Once he realized attraction was something he could learn, Brian spent way too much of his free time studying and practicing everything he could find on the subject. He stumbled across The Art of Charm podcast and eventually signed up for an AoC bootcamp. Excited by the progress he's made in his own life since the program, he decided to start writing for AoC to help other guys do the same. By writing about interpersonal dynamics, he’s finally able to put that psychology degree to good use. View all posts by Brian M →

"Men are possessed by the myth of the pickup," says David Grazian, Ph.D., an associate professor of sociology at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of On the Make: The Hustle of Urban Nightlife. It's in their heads that these bars and clubs are "teeming with anonymous females who are dying to have sex with any guy who is confident enough to talk to them." The reality is that less than 6 percent of women report having had sex with their partners within 2 days or less of meeting them, and less than 20 percent of adults say they first met their most recent sexual partner in a bar. Perhaps it's the nasty stigma of nightlife: A survey of 1,034 women by StrategyOne, a market research agency, reveals that nearly one in four women would be embarrassed to admit that she met a mate in a bar. (But just incase you do take home the girl of your dreams this weekend, make sure you know how to blow her mind in bed.)
A little unconventional but I can attest that speed dating is a fun alternative to meeting people & meeting women at a very high volume in the shortest amount of time. The best part is if it doesn’t work out or you just don’t click with whoever you’re matched with you’re immediately matched with another person. Speed dating events usually provide questionnaires & surveys for you to fill out to match you with people who have similar interests & traits. If you don’t like structure & love spontaneity I’d recommend just trying it out & socializing with as many women as possible even if they’re not in your cohort. I can tell you from experience most of the dates I’ve gotten we’re girls I talked to before the event in the lounge area & the funniest part is I was never matched with them during the actual event. If you live in the NY metro area check out the following links:
Granted, this one's going to take you out of your comfort zone, but how else do you expect to meet new people? At least at a dance class, as matchmaker Susan Trombetti points out, the odds would be in your favor. "Yoga, dance class, or a spinning class is a great place to meet women if you can get into it," she says. "I know lots of men who try this with much success. You will definitely be in the minority." Even if you don't meet a girl, you'll be improving your personality, which is a big help for single men everywhere when it comes to attracting beautiful women. And even if you don't happen to meet your special someone at dance class itself, acquiring the skill will be guaranteed to help you in the future..
Trying to meet a woman you want to date out of a crowded bar has a lot of variables and circumstances that is out of your control. There is the process of having to scope out the surrounding environment for someone you’re interested in, dealing with her group of friends, feeling out whether or not she’s single, approaching her with an opening line to hook her attention, and the added social pressure of trying to sustain a conversation in a loud environment. Not exactly the most ideal setting for getting to know someone, nurturing a deeper connection, and getting yourself a girlfriend in the long run.
If you’re on the road for business, one of the few available social options is the hotel lounge or hotel bar. People flock to these places to avoid being trapped in their room all night… so most women will be ready and willing to have a conversation if they’re down in the hotel lounge, many of which who may be wives who are out on the road for work trips and are looking to cheat.
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