But the situation doesn't have to be that bleak. In fact, there's no better time to be single than during economic uncertainty. A recent eHarmony survey found that one in four single women say that financial stress has increased their interest in a relationship. Compare that with the 61 percent of men who say money worries are causing stress in their love lives. Look at it this way: More women are on the market, and they're primed to connect. But men are looking to meet them over $12 martinis—and are going home alone and broke. There's an opening here for you: Think patterns, not people. Forget the pickup lines and rely on the new rules of attraction. We can help you with the odds.
The number one reason why approaching a woman may not work is that you don’t have her full attention before speaking to her. By attention I mean you should have her eye contact. This means she won’t be either a. surprised when you speak to her or b. not listening. If she sees you before you begin speaking to her she’ll be more relaxed and you can also checkout her non-verbal signals (is she holding eye contact with you and smiling?) to see if she seems open to talking to you. Sometimes you may need to use a gesture or say ‘hey’ to get her to look up. Then I want you to pause and wait for her to fully realize ‘a man is talking to me’ before you continue speaking with her.
So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
After you’ve paid a compliment, lots of the time she may not expect or know how to continue the conversation. A simple way to signal to her that you want the conversation to keep going is to offer your name. This also builds some trust as she gets to know you on a more personal basis. Say, ‘my name’s John by the way…’ before you expect her to share her name with you. If she doesn’t want to share her name this is a good cue that she’s not open to talking to you and you can simply wish her a good day and leave the conversation.
We've all had this one happen to us in some capacity – whether it's a coworker's housewarming party or your neighbor down the hall insisting you swing by for a get together they're having, going to a party where you only know the host can feel pretty awkward. But even if you do go and don't meet any single women that night, you can make new friends and connections. There's always a chance you may meet someone there who can set you up with your future girlfriend or long-term relationship – as was the case for Alex, 29.
Meeting a potential relationship partner does not have to be confusing or challenging, especially when you have a particular goal in mind. You will often have the best success when you look in the places and ways that will bring you in touch with likeminded people. Specifically, long-term relationships are often found with others who are focused on similar long-term religious, spiritual, or educational activities in their daily lives. In contrast, short-term and sexual relationships can best be found with others who have such immediate excitement and pleasure on their mind—usually in the nightlife of bars, clubs, and restaurants. Finally, finding some specific relationship preference and need can often be accomplished by networking with others who are compatible in those ways—either online or through social groups. In any case, finding others with similar love life preferences and goals will bring you closer to satisfying yours.
Hollywood would have us believe that there’s a certain type of man that single women are looking for; tall, dark, handsome, and preferably, rich. Thankfully, though, it’s simply not true. In a cross-national survey examining the biological and cultural influences of attraction, it was found that women most favored the following top five features in a man; humor, intelligence, honesty, kindness and strong values.
Daily places where conversations might be possible with women include the laundromat, waiting at a bus stop, shopping (including saying hi to the shop assistant you fancy so much), working out at the gym, walking your dog, clearing up your front yard as she passes by, the library, the video store (you already know her taste in movies), large outdoor events and pursuing recreational/sporting activities.