While online dating apps can and do lead to long-term relationships, sitting around swiping on your phone isn’t exactly the most effective way to meet women. In fact, new research shows that—surprise, surprise—we millennials are spending more time playing with our phones than we are actually going out and, well, having sex. In other words, put your phone away (once you’ve finished reading this article), and take a look at what the experts have to say on how to meet women.
But it's not just the friend famine that's starving our sex lives. Socially inbred crews are detrimental, too. "In a tightly knit group, you know the same people," says Parks. "Your friends can't introduce you to women you don't already know." That's why access to a new resource, whether it's an unadvertised job opening, a lead on a house listing, or an introduction to a woman you might click with, is more likely to come through casual friends than close ones. It's what social-network theorists call "the strength of weak ties," and the greater the number of unique casual connections you have, the better positioned you are to benefit. These types of people are essentially network bridges, says Parks. They connect you to women you might not otherwise have met through your close friends. The secret isn't blind dates and setups; it's party invites and casual introductions.
When you approach in a confident, easy-going way, most women drop their guard and open up to the conversation. However, if you approach in a nervous or appear intimidated by the women, they will automatically close off to you and the conversation. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. This is why confidence is the #1 thing you need to have before you begin trying to meet new women.