For more specific preferences and needs, you may want to look for someone online, or through friends. Online dating can be particularly effective when you are geographically or socially isolated—or when partners who fit your preference are in short supply. Furthermore, friends who already have similar preferences or needs, particularly those within a specific community or group, may also be a good source of introduction to new partners. Also, if you are socially shy, it may be more comfortable to look for dates online or get introduced through friends. Thus, networking with likeminded people, both online and in real life, may be the key to you finding the specific love you're after.
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."
To show women you’re the guy they’re looking for make your profile as fun and engaging as possible. How do you do that? For starters make sure you’re in the right state of mind when you sit down to create your profile. If you’re feeling lonely, insecure, depressed, or anything like that, those negative emotions will influence the way you write. Women will get that negative “vibe” and will move on to the next guy. So if you’re feeling down go out and get some exercise, then take a pass at creating your profile when you’re feeling refreshed and energized. By putting yourself in a positive state of mind you’ll automatically create a more fun, engaging profile.
To make sure you’re that guy the only intention you want to have when speed dating is to have fun. Don’t worry about getting numbers or impressing anyone. Just see it as an excuse to meet cool people and do something different with your night. Make a point to chat with everyone – both girls and guys – before the event even starts. This way people will see you as the fun, confident guy who got everyone to loosen up and have a good time.
Daily places where conversations might be possible with women include the laundromat, waiting at a bus stop, shopping (including saying hi to the shop assistant you fancy so much), working out at the gym, walking your dog, clearing up your front yard as she passes by, the library, the video store (you already know her taste in movies), large outdoor events and pursuing recreational/sporting activities.