So why does the alcohol-soaked pick-up scene still exist? Aside from the obvious reasons (tequila, vodka, rum), there's a surprising one as well: inexperience. Men are new to this 21st-century version of the boy-meets-girl game. In 1970, the median age for marriage was 23 for men and 21 for women. Today it's 28 and 26. "It used to be that people felt they'd somehow missed out if they didn't have a spouse by the time they graduated college," says David Popenoe, Ph.D., founder and codirector of the National Marriage Project and a professor emeritus of sociology at Rutgers University. "Today, people feel they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" means most men will be single in their 20s, a trend that populates the bar scene and empties the church aisles.
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."

Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.
Your question may be answered right there and then. Normally this doesn't happen on your first try though so don't get discouraged. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't even have to ask where to meet older women, because that older woman may be wondering where to meet you! (In fact, while I was looking around online I found a lot more sites where the women are actually looking for younger men.)
What Real Men Say: "I played on a Zog soccer team for three years," says Andrew, 32. "I left the team as did another player to take a season off (which subsequently left two spots open). Kelly (my current girlfriend) and her roommate had just moved to Hoboken and joined Zog soccer as free agents and got put onto the team in my place. My friends on the team called me one day because they were short a player and asked if I could play that day to fill in. They introduced me Kelly, whom I immediately started crushing on. I told them to let me know if they ever needed a player again -- and then I started going back anytime they needed someone so I could see her. The season ended, so I decided to play the next season with them and developed some chemistry with her. We got together, and the rest is history."
Now you might be afraid that she’ll ask you why you are there. First of all, they almost never ask. If she does, just tell her you are taking a walk, or you like the coffee shop or that you have a friend that goes there, if it’s true. Or be honest and say that you don’t like meeting women at bars and clubs because they are too drunk and sloppy. You’d be surprised at how many women love that answer.
If you spot a girl you’re interested in & it’s peak hours at the coffee shop, just ask her if you can sit by her table since it’s packed or just sit down at the table next to her if there is an open spot & after getting settled in just ask her if she knows what the Wi-Fi password is, if she’s got an iPhone charger, or ask her what she recommends if it’s not a Starbucks or a chain. Just be mindful, if she doesn’t look stressed, completely consumed with whatever she’s doing, or is on the phone get creative & immediately segue & ask her what she’s doing (blogging, reading, studying, thinking, etc.)
Be open-minded to all those interested in you. If you put an age-range or any other restrictive ranges into your wishlist, you could miss out on women who might be slightly outside those expectations but are ideal for you. It also sounds really bossy and perfectionist to list restrictive preferences and will scare off many women even if they fall within your restrictions.
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