When I worked downtown, I made it a habit to eat at all the local hipster places for lunch. Sure, it wasn’t always cheap however, I noticed an upside to it (aside from the often great food). A lot of women were doing the exact same thing as I was. They’d sit down next to me and we’d strike up a conversation. Yes, women eat alone too! Although, these weren’t always just women that worked nearby. The truth is, a fair number were from out of town, and quite lonely while looking for companionship in the city.
But it's not just the friend famine that's starving our sex lives. Socially inbred crews are detrimental, too. "In a tightly knit group, you know the same people," says Parks. "Your friends can't introduce you to women you don't already know." That's why access to a new resource, whether it's an unadvertised job opening, a lead on a house listing, or an introduction to a woman you might click with, is more likely to come through casual friends than close ones. It's what social-network theorists call "the strength of weak ties," and the greater the number of unique casual connections you have, the better positioned you are to benefit. These types of people are essentially network bridges, says Parks. They connect you to women you might not otherwise have met through your close friends. The secret isn't blind dates and setups; it's party invites and casual introductions.
In this modern age, time is a precious commodity, and no one wants to spend hours on end contacting singles that don’t fit their personality or lifestyle. Indeed, one of the biggest pit-falls with online dating is sorting through endless, irrelevant match suggestions. That’s why EliteSingles’ matchmaking process was designed to offer you only the most fitting match suggestions; single women seeking men - compatible with your hobbies, interests and personality type, and ready for a first date. We believe it's the most effective way for you to meet women who genuinely suit you.
A few years ago I took an improv class to be able to think on the fly, prepare for job interviews, & get out of my head when I’m interacting with people. Besides the added skill-sets to my social tool box, I’ve managed to meet some really amazing people in these classes and my last girlfriend before she moved. My friend & I were the only two guys in this class of 10 with the other 8 all being women. Just like the last 4 suggestions I’ve made, these classes are specifically designed to breed social interaction.
The best way to do this (and there are lots of ways I can teach you to improve your conversations that I’ll talk to you about in later articles) is to share information about yourself rather than asking her questions. I know this seems counter-intuitive but when it comes to meeting women in real life instead of putting her on the spot with a question it will create more trust with her if you can tell her a few things about yourself whilst inviting her to speak.
A little unconventional but I can attest that speed dating is a fun alternative to meeting people & meeting women at a very high volume in the shortest amount of time. The best part is if it doesn’t work out or you just don’t click with whoever you’re matched with you’re immediately matched with another person. Speed dating events usually provide questionnaires & surveys for you to fill out to match you with people who have similar interests & traits. If you don’t like structure & love spontaneity I’d recommend just trying it out & socializing with as many women as possible even if they’re not in your cohort. I can tell you from experience most of the dates I’ve gotten we’re girls I talked to before the event in the lounge area & the funniest part is I was never matched with them during the actual event. If you live in the NY metro area check out the following links:
Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.
Get to know them, learn their names, and remember them! Make it a point to recall what drinks they like to order or foods they like to eat, and of course, flirt a little! Just don't go overboard. A little mystery is fascinating to any mature woman, but especially so for an older one. Flattery is one of your best friends-and believe me-older women will remember it long after they leave. They (or she) will undoubtedly know what you are doing and will love it!
Have no expectations. If you go into a given conversation with expectations about how it will end (getting a date or even her phone number, for example), you'll risk coming off as desperate or forcing the conversation. Relax. Take a deep breath. Enjoy the conversation for what it is, and the woman you're talking to will be more likely to respond positively.
As for what to put in your profile, be sure you describe the exact type of girl you’re looking for (none of this “any girl will do” nonsense). Is this going to filter women out? Yes. But that’s the point. By actively filtering women you show that you’re a high-value guy with standards. This is going to make you more desirable for any woman who reads your profile. It’s also going to prevent you from wasting time with the wrong girls.
If you spot a girl you’re interested in & it’s peak hours at the coffee shop, just ask her if you can sit by her table since it’s packed or just sit down at the table next to her if there is an open spot & after getting settled in just ask her if she knows what the Wi-Fi password is, if she’s got an iPhone charger, or ask her what she recommends if it’s not a Starbucks or a chain. Just be mindful, if she doesn’t look stressed, completely consumed with whatever she’s doing, or is on the phone get creative & immediately segue & ask her what she’s doing (blogging, reading, studying, thinking, etc.)
You can find out a lot just by asking subtle questions such as how often she comes there, how long has she been a member, what machines seem to work better than others. You know-casual stuff. You can even pretend you are clueless about working out and ask her if she has any suggestions for you or if she would be willing to give you a few pointers. Look for her the next time you come in and casually ask her if she wants to grab a drink (or coffee) afterward. So?
When you approach in a confident, easy-going way, most women drop their guard and open up to the conversation. However, if you approach in a nervous or appear intimidated by the women, they will automatically close off to you and the conversation. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. This is why confidence is the #1 thing you need to have before you begin trying to meet new women.