"I met my girlfriend Stephanie at a book signing for Karen Russell," he says. "The line was kind of disorderly, so I turned to the person behind me and said, 'I didn't cut you, did I?' and she said, 'No.' That was Stephanie. I said, 'So are you a big Karen Russell fan?' and she said, 'Yes.' I asked who some of her other favorite authors were, and we chatted briefly. She got her book signed, then I got mine signed. Afterward I turned around, and she was standing there waiting for me. It turned out we were both going to Grand Central, so we walked there together. We had very immediate, very obvious chemistry. We got to the corner where we needed to split up, and Stephanie said, 'I want to keep talking to you though.' Her train was leaving shortly before mine, so I went with her to her train, then jumped off just as the doors were closing and hurried to catch my train. I had given her my business card, and she emailed me the next day. We've been together for almost five years."
Then, make a point of 'greeting' each person who comes in the door, whether with a smile, comment or friendly hello. There is no need to make your introduction rote or sound like you're working at Walmart though, just try and be yourself doing something that may not come naturally. By opening yourself up and making eye contact with all of the other patrons, you are also making yourself available to anything that comes your way, which could be a recommendation for a new book to read, a compliment about something you're wearing, or maybe even a date. Worst case scenario? Someone doesn't say hi back, and another person walks through the door ten seconds later. You've lost nothing in the process, and potentially get to socialize in a lighthearted manner.
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We're willing to bet your kitchen skills are lacking, or at the very least could benefit from some professional advice. Why not take a cooking class? Not only will you upgrade your culinary skills and maybe add a few new dishes to your repertoire, but you're likely to find yourself one of the few men in attendance. Even better, for those shy about approaching women: you'll often be asked to pair up to complete a dish, giving you an easy way to start up a conversation over an omelet flambé.
It’s no different than going to an industry convention. People go there to network. Sure, they learn a few new tricks and things but at the heart of it all is building up business connections. Even in the automotive industry, which generally lacks a female presence, I still know a guy who met his wife at one. When these events are hosted in Vegas, for instance, it’s a great way to mix business and pleasure without shooting yourself in the foot.
OK, hitting on women at the gym can be a major no-no, but it can work out sometimes if you read the signals and make your move in a friendly, non-creepy way. For example, when she’s in the middle of a 30-minute run on the treadmill and sweating profusely, don’t approach her. If she’s got her headphones in, don’t approach her. If she’s deadlifting, obviously, don’t approach her.