This stage of dating requires much intentionality. If you are in a courtship, you should be asking yourself, “What do I need to know about her and what does she need to know about me to be able to make this decision about marriage?” When Olive and I were in this stage of dating, we found it helpful to give ourselves a time frame so that our decision-making process would not drag on forever.
Beware of the lukewarm factor. Of itself, having a party is not wrong. But, what happens when the world influences its activities? People fall into dissipation, into abuse of their God-given responsibilities. Christ worries that although we intellectually say the world is full of self-centeredness and excess, we will still find it attractive. He warns us to be careful because, if we are not, the consequence is that the Day of Judgment, or the day of Christ's return, will come on us unexpectedly.
I remember when I was a teenager that guys in high school would talk about going out on Friday and Saturday nights "trolling." By trolling, they meant driving down the street angling for a catch with a hook, lure, and line drawn through the water to catch some nice looking fish. The trolling was figurative, of course, and a fish was a girl. This was the idea of some boys on how to get a date. Other terms have been used for the same thing, such as "cruising." Apparently cruising is still used today. They are looking for easy, loose women to "hook up" with for sex, like animals.
When you date, all you are basically doing is looking for someone that fits your ideal type of man or woman; you look for personality traits that you value. It is not supposed to be long at all. A scenario is I meet a girl that I think (that I think) is a good match for me. I be with her to assess whether on the surface level (on the surface level) we even match. This should not take long at all: one or two months. When we are not for each other, I pursue another person. That is dating. It short and doesn't take long. (There shouldn't be any emotional attachment or sex)
The enemy is within, as the epistle of James makes clear. Temptation is the enticement of a person to commit sin by offering some seeming advantage. When a person's mind is mostly emotionally oriented, there is no end of advantages that can be dragged out of a temptation. The sources of temptation are generally Satan and the world. The desire comes from our own human nature. We are exposed to them in all situations, in all places, and all the time. We are being tested constantly.
Several months ago I was invited by the Sichuan University of Finance and Economics and the Sichuan University of Nationalities to conduct a seminar on “Setting Boundaries in Dating.” The purpose of the seminar was to provide an opportunity for dialog and reflection with the participants, who are expected to get married within the next decade, and to help ensure that when that time comes they would use their utmost wisdom in making the most important decision of their lives.
#16 The emotional relationship. This is the kind of secret affair you have with someone other than your own partner. You may not realize you’re falling for this person, but you’d be completely addicted to them in reality. So much so, that you’d willingly jeopardize your own perfect relationship to be with this other person. [Read: 18 emotional affairs signs you probably didn’t notice]
Marriage is a formal, long-term commitment, where you and your partner agree to be together as a couple for the rest of your lives. The same way a good house must have a strong foundation, your marriage must be based on a solid foundation. You'll need to acquire knowledge of your partner and skills like communication and compromise in order to form a stable and successful marriage. You can start learning a lot of this just when you two are dating. For instance, you'll start getting a better understanding of each other’s attitudes and temperament by spending time together on dates. You'll also start to learn how to work past your differences. This understanding is vital because it helps you to work together as a team once you get married.
9. A woman takes the time to reflect on the type of human she wants to be, the example she wants to leave and the vision for her life. She has put thought into her values and what she stands for. A girl has not established her moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent. “After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.” – N. Mah
A girl doesn’t know what she wants because she is scared. She is comfortable being closed off because she isn’t mature enough to fight her fears in order to find herself. She uses others to her convenience because she is afraid to risk. Closing herself prevents her from experiencing real feelings therefore she remains false, bound, selfish and dependent and she looks for independence everywhere but within.
There are now more than 500 businesses worldwide that offer dating coach services—with almost 350 of those operating in the U.S. And the number of these businesses has surged since 2005"" Frequency of dating varies by person and situation; among singles actively seeking partners, 36% had been on no dates in the past three months, 13% had one date, 22% had two to four dates and 25% had five or more dates, according to a 2005 U.S. survey.