Actually, it is the teenager who is untaught in and ignorant of the truth about the facts of life! Parents should never feel intimidated by the ignorance and naïveté of their teenagers. Concepts about dating begin in the home where proper or improper attitudes are programmed into a teenager's mind. Dating practices reflect a way of life, and the results of choosing a mate for marriage may be positive or negative depending on the way of life by which we live.
While people tend to date others close to their own age, it's possible for older men to date younger women. In many countries, the older-man-younger-woman arrangement is seen as permissible, sometimes with benefits. It's looked on more positively in the U.S. than in China; older men are described as more knowledgeable sexually and intellectually, supportive, skilled in the ways of women, and financially more secure so there's "no more going Dutch." In China, older men with younger women are more likely to be described as "weird uncles" rather than "silver foxes." One Beijing professor reportedly advised his male students to delay dating:
#22 The sacrificial relationship. This is unconditional love in its worst form. You’re dating someone you truly love with all your heart, but your partner doesn’t seem to love you with the same intensity as you love them. And even if both of you are really nice people who are perfect for each other, this kind of relationship will only lead to bitter fights and helpless tears. [Read: Things to know before you make someone a priority in your life]
Wrong dating techniques destroy personalities and character, but proper dating encourages the constructive developing of these two elements. The type of dating that does develop personality is the kind where people can get together, play together, and talk together with no adverse effects. Only destructive things happen in the back seat of a car, parked on a dark roadside.
Like other women in my social circle, I have certain demands for a potential mate. He doesn't have to make much more than I do, but he must be doing at least as well as I am, and has to be compatible with me, both morally and spiritually ... He should also own an apartment instead of us buying one together. Remember what Virginia Wolf [sic] said? Every woman should have a room of her own.
During the interval before marriage, whether it is an arranged or a love marriage, private detectives have been hired to check up on a prospective bride or groom, or to verify claims about a potential spouse made in newspaper advertising, and there are reports that such snooping is increasing. Detectives investigate former amorous relationships and can include fellow college students, former police officers skilled in investigations, and medical workers "with access to health records."
One of the main purposes of dating is for two or more people to evaluate one another's suitability as a long term companion or spouse. Often physical characteristics, personality, financial status, and other aspects of the involved persons are judged and, as a result, feelings can be hurt and confidence shaken. Because of the uncertainty of the whole situation, the desire to be acceptable to the other person, and the possibility of rejection, dating can be very stressful for all parties involved. Some studies have shown that dating tends to be extremely difficult for people with social anxiety disorder.
A "friends with benefits" relationship is similar to a casual sex relationship, but with one important difference — an established, platonic friendship. Often, "friends with benefits" relationships begins when two friends agree to act on a mutual sexual attraction. Outside of the sexual relationship, the partners behave purely platonically. Usually, a 'friends with benefits' relationship ends when one or both partners start to date someone else.
I totally relate to this. Recently, a guy I was regularly going on dates with wanted to make sure my friend knew he and I were “non-exclusively dating”. The weird thing is he was saying it like it’s an actual title. Like a pre-boyfriend maybe? The biggest difference is on our off-nights, I was sitting around waiting for him to call and he was going out with other people. Clarifying what a relationship is becomes pretty important…especially after about date 3.
Proper dating is important because it gives you a means of connecting with others as persons. Our society increasingly pushes us to live in cocoons, but our isolation has brought us to growing levels of loneliness, emptiness, and sometimes desperation. However, this isolation does not have to be a permanent prison. Dating is an acceptable way of breaking out of isolation and connecting with others.
^ Jump up to: a b c d e f g Abigail Goldman (Winter 2010). "The Heart of the Matter: Online or off, couples still have to click". California Magazine. Retrieved 2010-12-28. New Berkeley research shows that online daters like each other more before they actually meet in person—it's that first face-to-face where things slide downhill, and average daters report disappointment across the board, let down on everything from looks to personality.
To those of you singles with whom God is working, you who are reverent and obedient to Him, (hopefully that is all of you), God is working in your lives in a more intimate way than you can see. He is preparing you and your future mate for His Kingdom first. That is His priority! Then, His concern is for your happiness in marriage. Many singles get the cart before the horse, and try to get married and then convert the person. When in reality, the proper order is to be in the proper relationship with God, and become a baptized member of His church, and then what God wants secondarily for us is marriage. It will all work out.