Several months ago I was invited by the Sichuan University of Finance and Economics and the Sichuan University of Nationalities to conduct a seminar on “Setting Boundaries in Dating.” The purpose of the seminar was to provide an opportunity for dialog and reflection with the participants, who are expected to get married within the next decade, and to help ensure that when that time comes they would use their utmost wisdom in making the most important decision of their lives.
Journalist Emily Witt in 2016 wrote that while "social mores had changed to accept a wider range of sexual practices", there was still much "loneliness and anxiety". She traveled to San Francisco and began dating a lot, using Internet dating services and apps, and sometimes going to singles' bars alone, only to find that the "romantic-comedy concept of love" with a "perfect, permanent, tea-for-two ending" was not going to happen to her.
Why do people date? The main reason is that, as a human being, you're a social creature. Spending all your time in solitude probably doesn't work for you. If you do end up isolated, you might experience problems like depression, low self-esteem, boredom, and desperation. Being with other human beings in a social context, like a date, can help you avoid these problems. Finding a relationship will help keep you connected to another person. Also, we think two brains are better than one! You'll probably benefit from getting to share this sort of stuff with a companion who can help you find solutions.
You singles—do not just sit and do nothing: expand your interests, improve your skills, and increase your knowledge while maintaining your personal relationship with God through prayer and Bible Study. If you are doing this, leave the rest up to God. Be patient while God prepares you and your future mate for marriage, and more importantly, for a place in His Kingdom.
There's a ridiculous amount of social pressure in North America to have sex, for men to have "more" partners, and for women to detach emotionally and make it "okay." Almost everyone I met in Europe in their mid 20s to 30s had had one, maybe two, very long term partnerships, and perhaps one casual, one night stand. Everyone I know in North America? Um... I've lost count.
Romantic love is more difficult during times of financial stress, and economic forces can encourage singles, particularly women, to select a partner primarily on financial considerations. Some men postpone marriage until their financial position is more secure and use wealth to help attract women. One trend is towards exclusive matchmaking events for the 'rich and powerful'; for example, an annual June event in Wuhan with expensive entry-ticket prices for men (99,999 RMB) lets financially secure men choose so-called bikini brides based on their beauty and education, and the financial exclusivity of the event was criticized by the official news outlet China Daily.
A girl doesn’t know what she wants because she is scared. She is comfortable being closed off because she isn’t mature enough to fight her fears in order to find herself. She uses others to her convenience because she is afraid to risk. Closing herself prevents her from experiencing real feelings therefore she remains false, bound, selfish and dependent and she looks for independence everywhere but within.
Beware of the lukewarm factor. Of itself, having a party is not wrong. But, what happens when the world influences its activities? People fall into dissipation, into abuse of their God-given responsibilities. Christ worries that although we intellectually say the world is full of self-centeredness and excess, we will still find it attractive. He warns us to be careful because, if we are not, the consequence is that the Day of Judgment, or the day of Christ's return, will come on us unexpectedly.
Mmmmm I’m inclined to agree that “seeing someone” is the more “serious” phrasing. Like, “dating” is you’re going on DATES. But SEEING them means that you see them frequently in situations that aren’t typically considered DATES, for instance, you go to Trader Joe’s together because you both need groceries! Or you accompany them to eviction court! (yes, I’ve done that, true story). That’s way more serious than the ol’ coffee & museum “dating” thing!
Our prayers should take on the quality of communication that is the ideal when a man and a woman date toward marriage. On the first date, they may not know much about each other, but with further contact their knowledge of each other grows. In talking back and forth, the relationship develops. They discover common interests. They begin to find each other attractive and fascinating as they get to know them better.