Remember in grade school when you had your first relationship and you were just head over hills in love with that person? You were probably like 15 or 16 and you would write love letters to each other all the time, doodle their name all over your notebook and be standing by their locker waiting for them to arrive after each class. That one person who you loved at that early age you could have bet anything on it that you would marry that person one day. Now fast forward to 15 years ahead(my 30 and over people) and three to four relationships later, now it seems like dating and finding the right person is becoming impossible. Relationships as teenagers are fun, exciting, and pretty much care free but as an adult you realize people will lie, cheat, deceive and hurt you on purpose with no regard in doing so. However, you experience the turmoil that past relationships has caused you; you eventually get passed the hurt just to move on to someone else that could possibly do the same exact thing to you that your ex just took you through. So I have to ask the question…what is your purpose for dating someone? Is it just to have someone to call and text throughout the day? Maybe it’s just to have someone to be intimate with from time to time? Maybe you just love the idea of being in a relationship? The ultimate goal in dating is to get married and love forever so if you are not working towards that, then your relationship has no purpose.
When you date, all you are basically doing is looking for someone that fits your ideal type of man or woman; you look for personality traits that you value. It is not supposed to be long at all. A scenario is I meet a girl that I think (that I think) is a good match for me. I be with her to assess whether on the surface level (on the surface level) we even match. This should not take long at all: one or two months. When we are not for each other, I pursue another person. That is dating. It short and doesn't take long. (There shouldn't be any emotional attachment or sex)
Today, worldly singles do something called "hooking up," where they go out on a group date hoping to "hook up" with someone to have sex with later that evening. Apparently, this is a very common type of dating. If you are totally in sync with the ways of this world—if you are a friend of the world—you will not know how to act because your out-of-control emotions will run you amok. Scientists have proven that a person's thought processes have not fully developed until somewhere after age 21. A person younger than that makes decisions based on emotions, and logic does not play a great part. As a person moves from his late teens into his early and mid-twenties, that emotional decision making process eventually is balanced out by a more logical approach, and then the emotions are put under control as a person develops self-control. The sad part is that there are 60 year-olds, and 70 and 80 year-olds who have not developed that self-control over their emotions.
Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being tournament species, in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and pair bond arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life. According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners. These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of human reproduction, including dating. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, generally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transgender couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.