Very carefully, of course.There are a lot of louts out there (of both genders). You keep from feeling like a failure by turning the experience into an opportunity to gain insight about yourself. In other words, you need to make this experience a life-changer by asking yourself what negative beliefs you have about your own worthiness that allowed you to serve as someone's passport and punching bag. Yes, you were used, and there were likely cues that you overlooked before you married Mr. Emigre. The hallmark of a loving relationship is mutual caring; seeking it and accepting it from a partner require you to first believe that you deserve it.
Journalist Emily Witt in 2016 wrote that while "social mores had changed to accept a wider range of sexual practices", there was still much "loneliness and anxiety". She traveled to San Francisco and began dating a lot, using Internet dating services and apps, and sometimes going to singles' bars alone, only to find that the "romantic-comedy concept of love" with a "perfect, permanent, tea-for-two ending" was not going to happen to her.
First, I had to come up with a way to describe what I do for a living. In North America, I say I'm a dating columnist. It's easy, pretty much every knows what that means, and if for some reason they're confused, I say, "You know Carrie in Sex in the City? I'm like her, but she wrote for the Post and I wrote for the Times." People nod, and then ask me whatever pressing dating questions they have.
There's a ridiculous amount of social pressure in North America to have sex, for men to have "more" partners, and for women to detach emotionally and make it "okay." Almost everyone I met in Europe in their mid 20s to 30s had had one, maybe two, very long term partnerships, and perhaps one casual, one night stand. Everyone I know in North America? Um... I've lost count.
Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine. As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial changes in relations between people, with perhaps one of a few remaining biological constants being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.