When a baptized member of the family of God becomes too emotionally interested in an unconverted person, the converted person begins to change his priorities and the unconverted person begins to supersede his dedication and loyalty to Jesus Christ. The Church has been betrothed to Christ, the bridegroom. Every member of the Church must be loyal and faithful to Jesus Christ.
The enemy is within, as the epistle of James makes clear. Temptation is the enticement of a person to commit sin by offering some seeming advantage. When a person's mind is mostly emotionally oriented, there is no end of advantages that can be dragged out of a temptation. The sources of temptation are generally Satan and the world. The desire comes from our own human nature. We are exposed to them in all situations, in all places, and all the time. We are being tested constantly.
I remember when I was a teenager that guys in high school would talk about going out on Friday and Saturday nights "trolling." By trolling, they meant driving down the street angling for a catch with a hook, lure, and line drawn through the water to catch some nice looking fish. The trolling was figurative, of course, and a fish was a girl. This was the idea of some boys on how to get a date. Other terms have been used for the same thing, such as "cruising." Apparently cruising is still used today. They are looking for easy, loose women to "hook up" with for sex, like animals.
Marriages and courtship in Pakistan are influenced by traditional cultural practices similar to those elsewhere in the Indian subcontinent as well as Muslim norms and manners. Illegitimate relationships before marriage are considered a social taboo and social interaction between unmarried men and women is encouraged at a modest and healthy level. Couples are usually wedded through either an arranged marriage or love marriage. Love marriages are those in which the individuals have chosen a partner whom they like by their own choice prior to marriage, and usually occur with the consent of parents and family. Arranged marriages on the other hand are marriages which are set and agreed by the families or guardians of the two individuals where the couple may not have met before. In either cases and in consistency with traditional marital practices, individuals who marry are persuaded to meet and talk to each other for some time before considering marrying so that they can check their compatibility.
Young people engaging in premarital sex are acting like sheep to the slaughter, totally oblivious to the real facts of life. Dating should be preceded by wholesome group activities; God created us as social beings, placing a longing in each individual for a member of the opposite sex. The purpose of dating should not be considered merely a pre-marriage ritual designed to prepare one for marriage, but instead (1) to develop wholesome interactions with the opposite sex in contrast to the world's dating games, totally mired in the lures of temptation and emotion described by James 1:14-15; (2) to help individuals to see their own strengths and weaknesses, gradually understanding themselves; (3) to develop practice in serving others, and (4) to discover the person one will marry. The more similarities there are in a relationship, the less likelihood that conflicts will emerge. A key ingredient in the dating process is faith in God's purpose in each person's life. The relationship one has with God takes precedence over any relationship with any other human being.
Of course, the conversation should be appropriate for the setting. If you're in a noisy bar, the girl you're chatting up might not be in the mood to talk about personal or philosophical subjects. Still, it should be possible to say something meaningful about the music, the crowd, or the feel of the evening that shows her you're enjoying the moment with her.
In (most places in) North America, a date consists of intention, like art. If your intention is to get to know the other person for a possible romantic partnership, you're on a date. The act of getting to know one another is called dating. Now, there's hooking up, friends with benefits, casual dating, and all manner of other things. Yet none of these are "dating." There's no courtship, there's zero determining if you're compatible romantically or long-term. You're just bumping the naughty bits, and that's why we North Americans have so many, varied terms for what is essentially a no strings attached sexual relationship.
Dating is also useful for having plain, pure, good fun. Fun is not ending up in premarital pregnancy or marriage to the wrong person. Real fun is wholesome fun that is fun today, tomorrow and forever. True pleasure is paid for before it is received—destructive pleasure is paid for after experiencing it, in the form of bad health and suffering (including STDs, sexually transmitted diseases).
"Teenage dating" (which I prefer to call 'an activity') should not be "romantic." It should be a fresh, wholesome, and constructive activity that is intellectually stimulating and physically upbuilding. It means taking a look at group activities, such as skating, tennis, volleyball, golfing, horseback riding, respectable dancing, whitewater rafting and other good things such as these.
Friends remain an extremely common way for people to meet However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future, if present trends continue. A friend can introduce two people who do not know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a blind date. In The Guardian, British writer Hannah Pool was cynical about being set up on a blind date; she was told "basically he's you but in a male form" by the mutual friend. She googled her blind date's name along with the words "wife" and "girlfriend" and "partner" and "boyfriend" to see whether her prospective date was in any kind of relationship or gay; he wasn't any of these things. She met him for coffee in London and she now lives with him, sharing a home and business. When friends introduce two people who do not know each other, it is often called a blind date.
Desire, in this context, is a force of attraction in the wrong direction: we long for it, crave it, covet it, and want it. That sounds like a good description of what happens to a single that is getting interested in someone of the opposite sex. Desire is something that can be nourished or stifled. We can control and even eliminate it, if we deal with it immediately.
Friends back home couldn't get enough of this. My male friends scoffed, my female friends swooned. Yes, the guy really planned to have me serenaded, on our first date, along the Seine River. I lost my credit card and was two hours late, so instead we met for wine and cheese. We did, however, stroll hand-in-hand along a love lock bridge. It was like a fairytale. Or was it?