It's 2019 – why are you still trying to meet women at loud, crowded and expensive bars? There are so many different things that can go wrong. If it's too packed, you could lose a half-hour just waiting to buy a drink; too empty and it'll feel weird and sad, and you won't be able to meet anyone new. Finding someone you're interested in typically begins with you surveying the scene and looking for people who are both attractive and not visibly taken -- or settling for just one of the two. Regardless, what are the actual chances that you'll hit it off? You have to decide whether to go with a stock pickup line or a custom-crafted joke or just a question and hope you picked the right one to pique her interest. And keep in mind this whole scenario is most likely occurring while you're both yelling in each other's ears over extremely loud music and the sounds of other people having a good time.
"I had two shift partners, one of whom ended up being my future wife. At the time, she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, so while I thought she was cute, there was never any weird flirty tension. We shared one four-hour shift a week for about two years. Without really intending to, we became good friends because of the experiences we shared assisting clients and talking about our lives outside the hotline in between calls. Around the time she left the hotline, we both coincidentally went through breakups. We went from commiserating about our hotline work to commiserating about being single. Then one night she came over, we hooked up, and about a year and a half later we were married. I think what worked about meeting that way was that things developed really organically, because neither of us were there to meet people. We bonded over the work we were doing and the stuff we discovered we had in common over the years."
What Real Men Say: "Salsa dancing is part of my culture," says Javier, 26. "So when my sister's friend opened a dance studio in our neighborhood I came for the grand opening and complimentary salsa class -- and had so much fun that I ended up buying a class package. As one of the only men in the class, I had my pick of partners which was nice, and made a lot of friends during my time there. Around my fifth or sixth class we all planned on meeting up at a salsa club after class to try out what we had learned, and I saw my current girlfriend Ramona there with her group of friends -- one of which knew one of the class members I was out with. She introduced us, and we danced together until 2 a.m. when the club closed down. We've been together ever since."
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We're willing to bet your kitchen skills are lacking, or at the very least could benefit from some professional advice. Why not take a cooking class? Not only will you upgrade your culinary skills and maybe add a few new dishes to your repertoire, but you're likely to find yourself one of the few men in attendance. Even better, for those shy about approaching women: you'll often be asked to pair up to complete a dish, giving you an easy way to start up a conversation over an omelet flambé.
To get the most out of these nights out be sure to show up early to whatever venue you’re going to. This gives you a chance to get acclimated and comfortable in the environment. While you’re there, warm up your social muscles by chatting with the staff and anyone else who’s around. As the venue fills up look for a “high-traffic” area – someplace people walk past frequently – and post up there with your friends. That way instead of running around looking for girls to talk to, the girls will wind up walking right by you.
If you’re a sports buff, this is beyond perfect for you. There are loads of women who enjoy sports, but the sad part is that men don’t often get to meet such women because they don’t have the brains to seek them out at such places. So why not think outside the box? If nothing at all, you’ll end up having a fantastic time and would have easily made new friends!